BookClover, The Beauty of Dreams

Thank you...and goodbye

2009-12-30T23:25:00.000Z

Hello everyone,

When I first decided to open a blog I didn�t have any idea on how to do that or the outcome. I only knew I wanted to try. I was never that good at writing weekly or daily even. Life was always throwing something at me making me more and more busy, and tired. Still, blogging was a pleasure, until a few weeks ago. Just to cut a long story short...I have received a number of insults.

Point is...if you don�t like my blog: don�t read it. If you don�t like me...ignore me. But if you come here...do it with honesty and respect. I don�t need your fancy words and I do appreciate comments, especially from those who take time to point out mistakes, but I don�t want your insults. BookClover was never, not once, intended to make someone feel miserable or unhappy, myself included.

Last year me and other bloggers did a �Christmas Edition� and that was fun, and appreciated. I so much wanted to do the same this year, I had already written something down...but this time it didn�t feel right.

I feel Bookclover is no longer my home, it�s a house where I live but not a place where I feel happy, and safe. And I hate this, I hate the idea someone killed my baby. It took me ages to find a name for the blog and in the end...BookClover was a part of my life. It took someone five minutes to write nasty, angry words.

Will I ever feel happy here again? It doesn�t feel like it right now.

It breaks my heart, and that�s absolutely the worst Christmas present I could ever get...but I guess some people are not happy with themselves and rather than looking for a ray of light and love, pure, true love (from friends, family, lovers...) they chose to destroy the happiness of others...so BookClover will take a break from now on.

I have emailed many of you, my good friends and readers, already but please do get in touch if you haven�t heard from me yet. Thank you all almost all...- for your kind words and teachings, for making this blog the amazing experience it has been...and to the person who caused this I only have one thing to say:

�....the rest is silence...�

Karma...and Free Will

2009-12-01T22:13:00.001Z

I am writing this because of a discussion with Hiei (nop, your email doesn't show, but you can easily get mine so please do use it and thank you for the opportunity you give me) coming from my previous post so I thought it useful to write a few lines to you all.

Hiei wrote (am quoting only a few passages)

"To accept that there are things "meant or not meant to be" imply that everything is decided and you're nothing more than a mere puppet.
...
Karma has nothing to do as far as I can see with a life already written - even in part - and lot with cause-effect principle, as ancient oriental wisdom was WAY ahead of scientific thinking but described things in methaforical sense.
...
Flow of karma is about projection of consequences of our action in the future: like any of the things we do is similar to a rock falling in water: it creates waves that expands, and eventually hit the shore and come back us later."

So what is Karma? It's not easy to define it (as anything else) because we all have a personal idea/perception/experience. Still, there is a common ground to all our pieces of the puzzle. Karma is destiny, things you are meant to do, to be doing in your life, lessons you are meant to learn. No, that is NOT about being slaves of some deity. It is about learning from the past (usually a past life), about finding ourselves into the very same situation, over and over, until we learn.

Is Karma something already written? Yes, in some ways it is so. But that does not mean (at all) you're just some kind of puppet. On the contrary, you are entitled to refuse whatever comes into your life, to fight it, to change your path. Point is, that won't change the fact that at some point you will have to face the situation you kept away from.

Example: In my past life I was about to marry a man - let's call him Mr Smith - but I ended up breaking his heart and killing his brother (it's just an example).
In this life I am going to meet Mr Smith (now, Mr Owen) and somehow we are going to get to the stage where he decides to pay me back for breaking his heart (he may decide to break mine) and killing his brother (he may decide to kill me) or make a different choice. We may end up getting married in this life and fullfilling the dream we once had. The number of possibilities is endless I guess and it's strictly connected to OUR choices: Karma values free will;-)

Karma is just like school: you go there every day, you don't really like that but some people (friends, teachers) help you finding a way to take the good. Some other people remind you how bad the experience is. Some days you want to stay home and tell your parents you're so very sick (they usually don't believe you though); some other days, just before the end of the school year, or Christmas hols, you can't wait to be there. You take a number of subjects: you do not like them all. Still, you try your best (even if the reason behind it is only the opportunity to see the boy/girl you fancy). You may fail. But you've got the opportunity to try again, and again, and again, until you pass.
You won't pass just because you're a student, nor because your parents pay a very high fee. You will pass when the time is right, when you possess all the necessary requirements.

Candide contemts himself with the fruits of his work. He's the main actor because he is the one who decides what to do. He chooses to cultivate his garden (why not sleep whole day, instead?) and that's the point...Karma, destiny put him in the situation to have a piece of land, he chose to take it, how to use it (why not build a villa instead?), he chose to share it with his wife - he had chosen to marry a woman. No one forced him. - He simply had to opportunity to chose and that's what he did and how he did it. His life would have been so very different had he not made these choises.

Karma won't tell you to wear a red hat...it will put things in order so that you get to the shop. Then it will let you choose. Will your decision be the best possible, the "RIGHT" one? No, not necessarily. But if you make the wrong choice, Karma will give you other opportunities so that you make the right one and are convinced that's right for you.

Some people we meet in this life 'come' from the past. They may be former lovers, or friends. Family members, or enemies. And it's up to us to clear that karma if it is negative, or to light it if it's positive.
Yes, Karma can be positive too. For example, when someone who used to be our friend in the past life, shows up in this one. It usually happens when we're upset, sad, confused. And this person puts a smile back on our face.

Not all the people we love are meant to stay with us in this life. Some of them just popped in, to say hi. Some others, came for a reason. The point is...we do not remember when we last met them, what we are meant to learn, and how. Still, I do believe that if we change our attitude towards life, and people, if we try to contempt ourselves with the good we have, the good we cultivate (gave love, time, passion to...) then we are going to turn bad karma into good one, we are going to make friends off the people we once called our enemies.
We cannot change the past, unbreak what's been broken...but we can work on the future...if friendship is a tree in our garden , we can work hard so that the tree lives, forever.

Fruits and Gardens

2009-11-29T20:42:00.002Z

Hello everyone,

it's been ages (a very bad habit indeed) since I last updated the blog but life's hectic at the moment and I am hoping to rest during Christmas hols. I haven't had much time to read...or I should rather say...I did read a lot but that's no-fiction and quite-technical books I won't bore you with.

Anyway...many things happened in my life since I last updated the blog and, since I do believe in Karma, destiny, in the fact that things happen for a reason...I'll start with that:

"I do not know," answered the worthy man, and I have not known the name of any Mufti, nor of any Vizier. I am entirely ignorant of the event you mention; I presume in general that they who meddle with the administration of public affairs die sometimes miserably, and that they deserve it; but I never trouble my head about what is transacting at Constantinople; I content myself with sending there for sale the fruits of the garden which I cultivate."

This is one of the last paragraphs from Candide by Voltaire where characters lose themselves, and each other...and then find both again but that happens after fighting, struggling, learning...
From a certain point of view Candide is a total idiot (honestly) but from another, he's a winner, a real one. The one who contents himself with the fruits of the garden he himself cultivates...
Somehow everything that happens to him doesn't change his ability to feel, to appreciate what he has, the very small things, to see the beauty of things and people surrounding him.

He is such a naive character. Still, he has a lot to offer to anyone willing to listen.
And he is loyal to himself, to what he belives, to people he once called 'his friends' even if they betrayed him, even if they took separate ways. He even ends up marrying the girl he was in love with many years earlier (she was such a beauty queen!) now turned into an horrible, extremely ugly woman.

I think this is a great book which has a lot to offer, as all classics do.

During the past few weeks I somehow met my past, people I hadn't seen in ages, one in particular. I hadn't realised how much I missed this friend of mine until I had her in front of my very own eyes. She looked just the same. Still, so many things had changed in her life..well, in mine too. And I miss the way we used to be. And I am sad and sorry because I don't think things will ever get back to what they used to. But meeting her after such a long time, even if for just a few hours, gave me hope things can change, destiny is meant to restore itself, in a way or another.

And I am sharing this with you all because I am hoping to get you thinking, to get you sending that text/email/letter or make that phone call you really want to make but never had the courage to. It's not easy, I know. But I promise you it will make you feel better. It may not restore what has been broken (hardly will) but there are things we need to do for ourselves, just so that we do not lose our ability to cultivate our gardens and content ourselves with its fruits;-)

Lace Readers...

2009-11-04T09:48:00.002Z

Hello, sorry for the long absence...law is so demanding;-) But don't worry, I'll catch up...starting with The lace reader by Brunonia Barry.

We first meet Towner Whitney when she's about to leave home for Salem, the place where her family still resides; the place where her sister Lyndley died...; the place she left some fifteen years earlier...

Her Aunt Eva just died and Towner is going to Salem to attend the funeral. She has no intention of staying but something happens and she is forced to, although not forever.

Many secrets unweil within the story: Towner's real name is Sophya (what a great name, especially if pronounced in the 'old' way); she had mental problems and was forced to stay in hospital for a while...her family is exactly what one may imagine: some sort of magick between the lines (Eva and Towner herself are lace readers).

You may get to a stage where you're left wondering…did you waste your time reading this book? Did the author answer any 'cosmic' question (some may think this is the main purpose of books of any sort) or something?
I confess at one point I couldn't distinguish fact and fiction within the story. But I don't think that's the point. I think this novel is about life as we, each and every one of us, see it; it's about the fact that even when we look at the same object we see just a part of it, an aspect others may not even notice.

…by the way...there is also love in this story...and a charming detective (Rafferty)...and I think this may be a great gift for Christmas;-)

Driving with dead people

2009-09-30T13:55:00.002+01:00

Hello everyone,
Sorry I haven't been around much, took a life journey recently and am trying to cope with it and everything else. But I promise I'll try my best to keep the blog going as much as I can and am hoping it will be easier once I'm hands on...Keep finger crossed for me;-)

Driving with dead people is a very well-written novel. It is charming and passionate, and although a part of the story is extremely sad (it's about domestic violence and its effects) I really enjoyed the journey.

It all starts with Sarah Keeler, a girl like many, and her funeral. The protagonist of Driving with dead people, Monica, has a lot in common with Sarah and somehow feels in need of attending the funeral. Their "lives" cross every now and then and although they have never met, they somehow befriend each other.

As I mentioned, the novel is also (and mainly) about domestic violence which seems to be one of the big problems of contemporary society. I do not know if there is a "right" or "good" way to explain how it works but I do feel that Monica Holloway found one which I would describe as "communicative". You read the novel and you understand. Of course, that doesn't mean you suddely "know" but the picture we get from this novel is clear and human. It's not theory nor preaching. It simply is feelings, those of a woman who married someone violent, those of their children. It's the love, the hate, the guilt (especially the guilt), the need...

"Church was the only place where I sat close to my father. He felt less prickly there, and as much as I hated him I wanted him to love me. In the silence of church I tried to steal closeness."

Monica's family (and their relationship) is quite complicated. For example, one of her sisters "gets mad" (attempts suicide, goes to hospital...) and her mother moves someplace else and "forgets" about her son and daughters (or, rather, doesn't really seem to care as obsessed as she is with her new life-new boyfriend-new job...). Still Monica tries her best to connect with each and every single one of them, including her father.
Luckily, she is blessed with Daniel, former boyfriend and true friend, especially when things get very bad.

Mma Ramotswe's adventures (2)

2009-09-06T09:19:00.001+01:00

Precious Ramotswe is one of these ladies I love to spend my time with: she's fun, clever and, in my opinion, a very fine person. She's from Botswana, a country she dearly loves (I do too since I've met her). She's a character in a book, or, rather, in a series by Alexander McCall Smith, an author I truly love and admire.

The Tears of a Giraffe is the second book in the series. As always, we find Mma Ramotswe solving mysteries of some sort (including unfaithful husbands and fake daddies) and enjoy the engagement of this "traditionally built" lady and Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni, the proprietor of Tlokweng Road Speedy Motors.

Two new characters, a boy and a girl, join the family: the couple, or rather, Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni and his good heart, adopts them.
We also get to know Mma Ramotswe's Assistant, Mma Makutsi, better (She even gets promoted and is, as always, so proud of her 97 percent...) and Mr. J. L. B. Matekoni's maid gets arrested. I truly believe that's the best part because I couldn't stop laughing, and it was also some sort of a relief since it made me think that Karma does exist and what comes around goes around...

I would love to give further details but I think this book to be the type it's just best to read than to talk about. It won't take you long, both because it's just 200 pages (circa) and because it's a light read.

However, I hope you don't mind me sharing a 'cosmic question'...why is this book catalogued as "children's"? I mean, okay, I do understand marketing and that its characteristics fit in perfectly...but, IMHO, a good book is a good book, regardless.

On life, death...and funerals

2009-08-23T18:23:00.001+01:00

Hello everyone,

Hope you're having an amazing summer, wherever you are, and do not suffer the heat (as much as I do. I am melting...).
I think mine is a great one I am spending doing a number of things I usually have no time for...reading including so have reviews to write-)

A crowded train, in a poor country or, rather, in a country we are all used to call 'third world'. Truth is, it is rich, in history, culture, land and there's so much beauty there. In am referring to India but my mind goes further.

A crowded train. That's the first image in A fine balance by Rohinton Mistry. It is an amazing and extremely demanding book: 800 pages which helps you understand, makes you suffer, tells you the story of one which may be that of any other, of the whole humanity.

In a way, I think Mistry is the Indian version of French writer Balzac whose stories are about poverty, sufferings, strength. They both are talented story-tellers and I guess that's what makes the difference between them and many others who do manage to write 800 pages but lose their readers half way through (if they get lucy...)

I confess I am not fond of big books, mainly because I get easily bored, but I'd suggest you all to read books by Rohinton Mistry which are set in India but are not about India only. They are a sort of window to understand other people, their sufferings, their need to protect themselves from all that life throws at them. It is not easy. It is never easy and we sometimes feel the weight of the world but unfortunately we are not alone in this and luckily we do meet people who help us continue the journey, who give us the love we need to feel we can do it. People we call 'friends'.

Dina Dalal is a charming person who forgot how to be a woman from the very moment she lost her husband. It was an accident. It happened so sudden. She was not ready for it. Would she be, ever? It was too soon, they still had so much to do together; she still had so much to do...
She didn't have a job, nor money, only the house her husband had rented. So she moved back in with her brother. It wasn't going to last forever and they probably knew it but it did last for a while. And it was horrible for Dinah, forced to take the servant's place. Humiliating.

Broken dreams of characters, both major and minor. They all seem to have lost (have been forced to lose) their ability to dream good things can happen to them. Still, some of them managed to put on a brave face.

When Dina lost her husband her life lost its meaning. He died, she did too. Is death a better option than life?
I think the answer to this question is in one of the characters' words (don't worry, I won't get into many details), it's in the feeling of fine balance when joining a funeral...
I am not going to tell you it's good to lose someone you love because I know it is not, but I confess I think cemeteries are not such a horrible place because every flower, every plant, every visitor is a symbol of love, that we still feel for those who are gone, for those who will always have room in our hearts.

Look at me

2009-08-12T21:39:00.001+01:00

There is a scene, in The History of Love (Nicole Krauss. How many times before have I mentioned it?;-), where Leo Grumsky wanders around a city which doesn't feel like his own. Still he's spent there, in that city and country, most of his life. That's when he decides to sit, naked, in front of a crowded drawing class just so that he won't pass unnoticed.

In a way, Look at me by Anita Brookner tells the same story and is about the same fear although the protagonist, Frances Hinton, makes a different choice. She writes. She does so because that's the only way for people to know her, to know about her.

Set in the beautiful britishy Maida Vale, in London, the novel tells the story of a librarian who loves her job and is desperately lonely. At the beginning, she was making up stories for her mother who loved to see things through her daughter's eyes. Then, after her mother's death, Frances began to write for herself, or rather, in hope she would get published, one day, and would therefore not pass unnoticed.

Unnoticed.
I keep using this word...
It's a choice I have to make and you will understand reasons for it once you read this great book.

Have you ever been, or felt, you were way too 'normal' to get noticed? Have you ever had the feeling you needed to record your stay or presence somewhere or that would have otherwise passed unnoticed, surrounded by 'amazing' superhero-like people? Look at me is not a big book, just 200 pages or so, but it's huge in the number of emotions you will feel while reading it, especially if you have felt that very same feeling.
Frances' life upsets her, especially when comparing it to that of Alix Fraser. Still, it is not some sort of envy. It's rather a cry for survival.

Write. Record people, feelings, happenings. Even when they seem unimportant. Do so, especially when you think they are otherwise going to pass, unnoticed.

Water (again)

2009-07-29T13:26:00.001+01:00

It just started to rain and that makes me so happy (have been struggling with the heat the whole day or rather for the past couple of weeks and it's way too much for me)

Rain...water...Water for elephants. This is the title of a book by Sara Gruen which I absolutely loved. It tells the story of a man, Jacob Jankowski, the narrator and protagonist of the story, who is about to become a vet (is about to take his final exams) and start working with his dad. Jacob is a nice guy, a good person I'd say. He's smart and a good student. Unfortunately, his parents die, all of a sudden, in a car accident and Jacob is forced to grow up quickly: he's left with no money and nobody to rely on other than himself. He doesn't know what to do but circumstances work so that he joins a Circus, thanks to someone named August who will soon become the best of his friends and the worst of his enemies...

There, in the circus, Jacob falls in love with beautiful Marlena; becomes the owner of an elephant and makes friends with a number of people he would have never imagined.

If you judge the book by the few lines I've just written, you may end up thinking it is one of the many good books published every year. It is not. It is a fantastic book and I am absolutely sure you'll agree with me once you've read it. The story is told in a simple, yet charming manner and it's a mix of past and present. We get to know young Jacob but we also befriend him when he's "90 or 93, I don't remember".

I'm sure that once you'll start reading this book, you won't put it down until you get to the last page, also because Jacob will remind you of someone you love, and he will force you to think about life. Well, that's what happened to me. I began thinking of my grandad, what he might have felt/become forced to live in one of these houses for elderly people...

Ninety-years-old Jacob is frail, outside and inside, and forgotten: his children, now in their sixties, decided not to take care of him. Jacob's aware of that, and suffers, a lot. He's lonely, just like Leo Grumsky (The History of Love, Nicole Krauss), just like any human being who no longer is self-sufficient. Sad, and upsetting. Will this ever happen to me? That I do not know, not yet. But I do know that Jacob is one of these amazing characters who will become part of your life, of your family, of you. He will tell you his story, will open his heart to you and at the end of the book you will be grateful to Sarah for chosing not to end the novel as you'd expected, for opening up to possibilities, for giving you something to remember for a long time to come.

The Book of Salt

2009-07-21T12:37:00.001+01:00

I have been asking myself whether to comment The Book of Salt by Monique Truong or not for quite a few days now. When I first started the blog, I promised myself not to comment on books I hadn't really enjoyed but although this book is not one of my favourites, I don't think it would be fair to say it is bad either. In fact the first, say, 150 pages are quite good, full of poetry bits and charms. They are interesting, challenging, funny at times.

Problem is that doesn't last to the end...after a while it gets 'obvious': you, the powerful and clever reader, know what's going to happen. Boring. And I know, it's something to do with me...I am just not the kind of reader who wants to be bored...I love powerful beginnings and books I love are the ones that either teach me something (i.e. open my mind) or make me feel strong emotions (and it's great when there are tears too...) but I am all too convinced that books are like friends...and I don't want you to waste your time meeting a friend I don't fully trust for myself.

Still...

Still this books gave me a lot to think about because it is about language, the tongue one speaks and that he/she was born into; it's about memory, the act of remembering people and places through recipes; it is about love.

The protagonist (and narrator) is a chief who moves from place to place and works for a number of people including Getrude Stein and her partner. He is somehow obsessed with their dogs, feeling less important than they are- and with the (very French) idea that 'French cooking' cannot be mixed with foreign flavours. The main story is set in Paris.
He can be a very interesting narrator. For example, when he explains how Gertrude Stein began comparing her writing with her car.

A Plus: whoever chose the title is a genius, as far as I'm concerned. A book is something which will last and will befriend the reader. Salt...it evaporates, it may be there for a minute only. Still, it may change a recipe, forever. I love the title, don't you?

Family Matters: it's 90;-)

2009-07-17T15:18:00.001+01:00

Hello everyone,

just a quick note: yesterday was grandad's 90th birthday. We are going to
have a family reunion tomorrow to celebrate the event. He seems happy and I
am very glad about it.

Just wanted to share that with you all. I think 90 is a great achievement.

Water

2009-07-13T20:28:00.001+01:00

I have been thinking (and craving) about reading Water by Bapsi Sidhwa for a while but I was always either busy or reading something else. In fact, my wish list is huge (really) and I tend to read books in a 'chronological order' (well, the ones which entered the list first) although that's no particular reason for me to do that.

However, I finally broke that non-existing rule of mine and got hold of a copy of Water. So happy I did that. The book is great, well-written and touching. It's about a girl of just eight years of age, forced, by her father, to get married to a man she never met (and he's of course older than she is...). Her mother doesn't really agree to that but in the end there's nothing she can do: it's the rules. Now, Chuyia might have been happy in her marriage, learn, in time, to love her husband and all that but unfortunately a few years after the wedding ceremony her husband dies and she's sent away from her family and forced to live with other people, women, who, like herself, survived their husbands. Somehow, that makes them guilty. Therefore they are isolated from the rest of the society, treated as 'dirty' and forced to a number of emotional experiences including cutting off their hair.

In the ashram, Chuyia makes friends with Kalyani who, unlike other widows, is not showing her condition to the full (she has long black hair). The girls spend a lot of time together: they play, they laugh, they walk in the streets (where they meet Narayan, a student).

The characters' religion is Hindu: can a widow love again?

My answer to that question is 'Yes' and I find nothing wrong in that but that's not right for those who populate the book. To them that is just so wrong. Therefore when they find out that Kalyani and Narayan are not only in love (they met by accident and fell in love from that very moment) but also planning to marry, they get really angry...

And the situation gets even worst when Kalyani, forced to earn money by...selling herself to a number of important men, discovers one of her customers is Narayan's dad: that changes her, forever.

I really enjoyed the reading also because it was the best way for me to learn something new about a culture, religion, place I don't know much about. And I do understand somethings had to happen, but I also feel it was quite sad.

Also, it was of great interest to me to discover that the book was written after a movie, Water, by Deepa Mehta: I haven't seen the movie yet (am planning to) and am quite curious about it. In fact, I have seen movies inspired by books I love and have often felt disappointed about the result. Therefore I am looking forward to spot differences between this book and the movie and, well... try to see things from a different point of view (this time, I won't be able to say the director had forgotten important details...) ;-)

[Spoiler: at the end of the novel Chuyia leaves the place to join Gandhi; Narayan goes back to university and Kalyani, unable to stand the shame and humiliation of her relationship with Narayan's dad, kills herself...]

The Prince of the Mist

2009-07-07T13:21:00.001+01:00

I confess I try not to read books from the same author one after the other, reason being...well, I am sort of worried I might get disappointed, especially when the first book I've read is not the first he/she ever wrote/published.
Still, a few months after I finished The Shadow of the Wind I was so sad the experience was already over that I ended up in my local bookshop and bought all the other books by Carlos Ruiz Zafon.

Was it a good choice?

I am not sure I know the answer to that question. All I know is that I went home that day and I felt so happy and...I began reading The Prince of the Mist. It is less than 150 pages long, shouldn't take more than a day, but it took me about two weeks. The book is about a family who is forced by war to relocate. It's 1943. The narrator is external although at one point, it's one of the characters (not a main) to tell us his own story. We follow the 'adventures' of Max, his sister and their friend Roland and discover there's a lot hidden under the sea (literally), including a man who is some sort of magician (black magic) or...devil. There are a decent plot, suspence, interesting characters and I guess I should have enjoyed the book more than I did. Still, I can honestly say that was not a book I will remember in the next few years: I read it, enjoyed bits and pieces (but not the whole) and the experience was over as soon as I finished.

I have other books from the same author waiting for me ...but I guess I'll keep them waiting on the bookshelf ...

A Moveable Feast

2009-07-01T13:12:00.001+01:00

A couple of days ago there was an article in the New York Times about Hemingway and his 'diary' A Moveable Feast, one of my favourite books, ever. Basically one of the writer's grandsons, Sean, is going to add passages from the original manuscript. For those of you who do not know that much about Hemingway, Sean's grandmother was Pauline, the writer's second wife who, in the original version of the book [edited by Mary, Hemingway's forth wife](1964) was somehow described as a maneater...

According to the article, Mary's choice was different from that of Ernest who did not consider the manuscript finished when he died (suicide, like his father before him, in 1951). If so then I can't wait to buy the new (Scribner) edition. However, being a huge Hemingway lover it somehow feels like they all lost it. Hemingway's motto was to write about what one knows therefore each and every single story he wrote and published had something to do with him, his life, opinions, experiences, fears...still he was a journalist, tried to be objective, and simple. Therefore if all the above is true, I am not sure he would have appreciated Mary's prevailing attitude. It's a family business. We all have one (or more...) giving us headache...and I do not know what you think of that but I do hope people all over the world will continue reading Hemingway's books simply because he was an amazing writer, capable of creating true magic.

...I think I am going to add A Farewell to Arms to my reading list for the summer...or maybe The Old man and the Sea...what would you suggest? Hemingway, like LM Alcott, is one of these writers who somehow changed me, forever, reason why I am never tired of reading their books which magic touches my heart in a different, yet unique way every time.

Goodbye

2009-06-26T19:03:00.001+01:00

Hello everyone,

I finally managed to get some time for myself and was so excited about updating the blog, writing about books again...send updates via email (something which I mean to try for a while) and then the news arrive, one after the other. Farrah Fawcett died of cancer yesterday and just a few hours later Michael Jackson disappeares.
They're both gone and although quite different from each other, they will hopefully be remembered for the good they did.
They both were famous and rich and...so many things we will never know...but it's weird to think they're gone.
Most people seem to be shocked about Michael's death and I am too. After all, he was just 50. Still I cannot stop thinking of Farrah, former Charlie's Angels. She greeted her son goodbuy on the phone. How cruel is that? Okay, he was in prison...but it somehow feels she deserved to see him, to kiss him goodbye.

Two V.I.P.s gone in just one day...reminds me of how frail life is, of how easily we get lost in our own problems and personal 'wars'...how easily we forget we may be given just one chance to say "sorry", "thank you", "I love you".

In my mind I was about to write something different today, lighter, happier, 'bookish'. But that doesn't feel right now. Please forgive me if you thought you would find something else here, today: this blog should be about books but it's life, it takes over...

Summer reading

2009-06-18T08:23:00.000+01:00

Hello everyone,

Am about to finish this job (just a few more weeks) and am hoping to catch up with a number of the things I had to put on hold in the last few months - blog included- so please be patient;-)

Yesterday I was jotting down a list of books I'd like to read. Summer reads are always 'different'. My own choice (or, I'd rather say, 'need') is light books. Alexander McCall Smith's books are on my list. He's witty, funny and entertaining. Exactly what I need;-)
I also wanted to finish Moby Dick, which I had started earlier this month, but I just don't feel like it. It's such a heavy read at the moment or I'm simply not in the right mood. Shame on me but...I think my mind needs to rest. So many plans for the summer...

What about you?
Any suggestion would be appreciated;-))

Have a great day and week

picking cherries...

2009-05-23T08:40:00.002+01:00

Hello everyone,

I know...I haven't been around in ages but I just didn't have time, at all, not even to check my mail on a regular basis. So many things to plan, change...
I work in the morning and help a student in the afternoon. She knows nothing and is about to have her final exams (GCSE)...
Can you teach a rabbit how to fly, I wonder...
Well, I don't think that possible but I'm doing it for her mother who's friends with my aunt.

I am reading a lot though, work is 'forcing' me to read classics, even those I already know. I love it, I just don't have time to write about/comment them but I am hoping to do so from the beginning of July.

Anyway...it's hot...and sunny...and I just bought cherries. I love them and I love cherry trees, especially when they're in bloom.

Enjoy the weekend;-)

London

2009-04-06T08:55:00.004+01:00

I was never a huge poetry fan but have recently discovered I love poetry, especially that of British authors from the Romantic Age.
Plus...well, this one is about the place I love the most so...enjoy it;-)

London
from Poem lyrics of London

I wander through each chartered street,
Near where the chartered Thames does flow,
And mark in every face I meet,
Marks of weakness, marks of woe.

In every cry of every man,
In every infant's cry of fear,
In every voice, in every ban,
The mind-forged manacles I hear:

How the chimney-sweeper's cry
Every blackening church appals,
And the hapless soldier's sigh
Runs in blood down palace-walls.

But most, through midnight streets I hear
How the youthful harlot's curse
Blasts the new-born infant's tear,
And blights with plagues the marriage-hearse.
(William Blake, in Songs of Experience, 1794)

Busy busy busy

2009-04-01T14:07:00.000+01:00

Hello everyone,

am still alive, just being so very busy (well, I'd rather have no time for myself at all but feel I am achieving something of importance than have the whole time in the world but feel empty...)

Just wanted to share a few things with you:

The great blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it.
- Seneca

Falling
The strongest fear
the deepest sadness

Falling
bed of feathers
Song of souls

Happy Birthday Gabriel!!!

2009-03-07T09:32:00.003Z

Gabriel Garcia Marquez is one of my favourite writers, one of the amazingly talented authors Spanish-speaking countries have to offer.

Yesterday it was Garbiel's birthday (born in 1927 ) and I want to wish him the best, I truly hope he's going to celebrate many many more!!!

If you haven't read anything from this author I'd suggest you do it.
His novels:

One Hundred Years of Solitude 1967 (my favourite)
The Autumn of the Patriarch 1975
Chronicle of a Death Foretold 1981
Love in the Time of Cholera 1985
The General in His Labyrinth 1989
Of Love and Other Demons 1994
Memories of My Melancholy Whores 2004

On Being Humble or The Art of Editing

2009-02-13T14:48:00.003Z

Hello everyone,

hope you're doing and achieving something special.
I am busy, as never before. Basically, I now have two jobs, one for the money, one for the heart. One helps me to pay the bills, the other makes me proud of who I am and is an unique opportunity for me to meet amazingly talented people and learn with and from them. Unfortunately, the one I'd love to continue doing will only last a couple of months:-(

A few days ago there was a very short, yet informative and inspiring article in The Washington Post called The Art of Editing. It is about typos and other errors all readers come across in books.

I must confess although I easily make mistakes while typing/writing my own things and am often unable to spot them, I am quite good at spotting other people's mistakes and I just hate it when a book I love is filled up with typos of all kinds. I find this quite unprofessional, especially considering proofreaders are paid to make sure the books looks immaculate.

Plus I find it irritating when publishing people (in general) show no sign of humility: we all make mistakes, that's a fact. But the best (and probably only) way to learn from them is to accept other people may know better, may look and act awfully bad but be excellent in showing us the right way...

Well, please do let me know if you find any mistake in the blog, that would be extremely helpful and appreciated.

Happy Valentine's Day;-))

Housing made easy: just play;-)

2009-01-30T08:32:00.002Z

Looking for a new home?
Worried about loans and money?

Well you have to read this then!!

Basically a man decided to sell his house in the weirdest way ever (to me): you log into his website, pay a few of £50 (only!), play sudoku and wait until 2010.
Yeah, it's that easy!

So...good luck;-)

Mad about a book...

2009-01-26T09:01:00.003Z

Dear Diary,

Tomorrow morning, my journey as an English teacher officially begins. Since first impressions are so important, I wonder what my students will think about me. Will they think I'm out of touch or too preppy? Or worse yet, that I'm too young to be taken seriously? Maybe I'll have them write a journal entry describing what their expectations are of me and the class.

Since I do teach English, you may think this is a passage from my own diary but it is not because I am unable to keep a diary. I'd rather write fiction on something that happened to me, feels safer.

This is the beginning of a novel by Erin Gruwell called The Freedom Writers Diary which, I guess, is a must read since a woman, thirty-nine-year-old Shelly Koontz, was arrested last week, accused of theft. Basically she took the book on loan from the local library in April and kept it.
[you can read the full news here]

Now, since I do take books on loan from the library I have to say it is annoying to wait for ages for a book that has not been returned yet but keeping the book? Well, that's something I've never thought of. If I love a book I'll just go and buy it but that's just me and I guess I'm lucky enough to be able to do so. What's Shelly's story? Is she so poor she cannot even spend $13.95 (yes, that's the price!) for a book? Is she so lonely no-one can help her? Or is she careless?

What do you think?

I am left wondering...

Daffodils

2009-01-24T08:36:00.003Z

I don't usually read much poetry but yesterday I was inspired to do so and the first book I found was a collection of poems by W. Wordsworth (1770-1850). He surely was amazingly talented and it is quite hard for me to choose just one poem but I decided to post one anyway. Hope you'll enjoy it;-)

"Daffodils" (1804)
I WANDER'D lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

75 books challenge

2009-01-17T08:54:00.002Z

Hello everyone,

Happy New Year!! I know...2009 started (already!!) 17 days ago but...been so busy lately...
I do feel like I haven't done anything yet though. You know...rushing around, doing things for others and...as soon as you sit on the couch...you're in dreamland;-)

Still, I decided to take on a very interesting challenge called the "75 Book Challenge". Basically, the goal is to read 75 books (fiction and non-fiction) within 365 days. I've never done anything similar in my life and 75 books sound like a lot at the moment but I thought it might be good experience. Plus I want to see what's going to happen.
Will I succeed? Do not know but am determined to;-)

So what are you planning to do in 2009? Anything special?
Whatever that is I wish you the best of luck;-))

And a very special wish goes to my friends A and S who just had a baby boy. He looks gorge (of course!) and I'm sure that's the best achievement, ever;-))

Brain Training

2008-12-29T09:10:00.000Z

Hello everyone,

hope you all had an amazing Christmas and all the presents you wished for. I have to say I did. I got exactly what I wanted which is a stress-free day. There were, are, things on my mind which are not that great but for just one day I needed to look at the sky and think positive. And I managed to do so, did it so well I even ended up working on my new novel. I do not know where it is going to lead me but starting a new novel, filling blank pages with words is always exciting and refreshing, at least it is to me. Guess I’m writing something similar to Mrs Dalloway…well I am not as talented as Virginia Woolf but you know I love the idea of having such an amazing example in front of my very own eyes. It’s basically the story of a woman who’s organising a party. And I cannot, at this stage (way too early) give many details out, not yet knowing them myself, but I do know I want this novel to be funny or, at least, to have unique characters who will make readers laugh.
And although I am well aware of the fact that to write something funny is far more complicated and hard than to write something sad, I want to try and do so in the exact same way I’d love people to read it: lightly.
[this is going to be so very hard, I know that, but hey, best things in life need ‘fight’]

And just to make my life even more complicated I engaged myself in the most horrible thing ever: Nintendo DS. Does anyone enjoy that at all? I do not. It just makes me feel so very stupid. Things like…calculate your mental age by telling the colour you see on screen. Easy, I thought, until I started trying to get the machine to understand what I was saying… “name colours you see when in front of your eyes”: ‘yellow’ written in blue.
“blue” – I don’t understand.
“blue” – I don’t understand.
“blue” – I don’t understand.
…
“have mercy of me” -congratulations
‘black’ written in black
…

And Sudoku…gosh. I just hate competition. My mum is some sort of Sudoku genius: you give her one, even the very difficult ones, and she’s just do it in no time whereas me, not used at all to play, I feel like a beginner, forever.

Am I going, ever, to get over that feeling?
Maybe next year…
Well, I hope 2009 is going to be amazing for you all: fulfil your dreams and achieve something you longed for…and be a winner in each and every single game ;-)))

Christmas Edition

2008-12-20T14:11:00.002Z

Just a few days left and it’s Christmas again.
How are you going to spend the day? How are you going to celebrate?
We all seem to have different ideas of how Christmas should be celebrated, when to open presents, what to eat etc. Still, no matter what we do or how, we seem to be convinced that that’s going to be a special day, different from any other.
Wish we would all enjoy the day but unfortunately, it’s not so, not for all of us. A friend of mine recently told me about her memories of the day, not very happy. Another mentioned a relative who’s going to be in hospital and in the papers last week there was the story of a family: mum, dad, 2 small children. Parents were driving to the airport – she’s brazilian, her parents and sisters were coming over. There was ice on the street, they lost control of the car. He died. She’s in hospital and docs are not yet sure she’s going to make it.

Please, do not get me wrong, I love Christmas. It’s just that at times we all forget how lucky we are.
I am lucky.
We’re all okay, we’re going to celebrate Christmas together.
I’m lucky.
I am going to cook and eat whatever I feel like.
I’m lucky.
We’re probably going over to my uncle’s after lunch and will play cards or the likes. Leo is going to be there too.
I am lucky. And once a year I just want to say it, aloud; once a year I want to forget about presents, objects, and just remember what’s in my life, what's far away more important and valuable than any object money can buy.
And yes, there are going to be presents – still have to buy some though! – but I love Christmas because it bring the family together and for one day a year there’s nothing but people I love in the same room having a great time.

So what makes you lucky?

I hope that, under the tree,

We are all going to find Something Special, I hope Santa

And his Gnomes

Are going to give us the only present no money can buy: joy;-)

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Penpalling

2008-12-11T08:46:00.000Z

The snow is falling down, white and soft, as if it was to clean the whole city. Clean it from what? Rubbish? No, it doesn’t feel that way. It feels different, as if it was to clean people, their hearts, feelings, actions.

Erase and rewind.

Start again. You have been given the opportunity to make up for your mistakes.

A few days ago I got into one of these social networking websites everybody is talking about. I have been a member for about 3 years but never really bothered. Then an old friend of mine came to mind...and I tried looking up for her. She lives in Finland: I cannot remember how we met but I do remember we used to write each other (letters, handwritten...something no longer exists unfortunately) quite often when I was in high school.
I think we haven’t been in touch for about ten years. Still, meeting her again, reading her again, felt exactly as it used to.

Penpalling.

I am quite sorry for those who never tried “penpalling”, who never put words on paper just to write a letter to someone who lives in a different country. You may never meet them, not face to face at least, but a part of you will always belong to them and there will always be room in your heart for them.
I cannot explain how happy I am to meet M., again. Feels like she’s always been there.

(guess I’m going to write a list of people I haven’t heard from in a while and see what happens;-)

I’ve got some time off today because...snow (bless it) has given me a very unexpected gift: a day off. It keeps snowing, harder and harder. It’s about 40 cm high and very hard to walk. But hey...I love it;-)

So...wherever you are, whatever you do, I hope your eyes and heart are filled with light, that of an old friend, that of snow.

Footsteps in the snow (vol 2)

2008-11-29T14:02:00.007Z

Hello everyone,

Am not in the mood for writing today but took this picture and I just love its colours so wanted to share it with you;-)

Courage (and other demons...)

2008-11-27T14:35:00.001Z

Hello everyone,

Found this quote the other day surfing in Tony Robbins’ website and I just loved it:

"Without courage, wisdom bears no fruit." Baltasar Gracian

Courage.

Small word, big meaning.
But what is courage about? Physical strength? No, it has nothing to do with that. It is about the voice within.
Guess I should write a list of examples of what the word means to me...
(random)
• say sorry when you realise you’ve done something wrong. I believe “sorry” to be a magic word: it won’t change the past but requires courage to be told, especially after an argument.
• Fight against your own demons. We all have a past, we all suffered but the very moment we try to start afresh, we should be proud of who we are. We learn from our mistakes, don’t we?
• Forgiveness. Gosh...it’s so hard to forgive people who hurt us isn’t it? And even harder if we used to call them ‘friends’. I won’t tell you I can do it, because I can’t, not at all times at least, but I do feel we forgot what really matters in life. Sometimes we get so angry and so focused on that negative feeling that we forget about our dreams, people we love (who fill us with joy and happiness), ourselves.
• Truth. Some people believe that the truth is boring. They tell lies because they can make up a ‘parallel’ reality where things look better and they look like superheroes. As funny as it may sound I have never told a lie in my entire life (I know so sad of me...) and I just don’t get it...truth is boring...yeah, could be...but also enriching. Whatever I do, and have done in my life, it was me, just me, and although I am not the best person in this world I know I am loved for who I am.
• All people who fight illness. They’re brave and I admire them. I have met some amazing people who were sick and they were all so brave. Unfortunately, some didn’t make it but memories of them fill my heart with gratitude and joy.

What would your list be like?;-))

Well I am going to join a very nice initiative – all details from Reading Adventures -. It is going to be a ‘Christmas edition’ of the blog. Date: 20 December;-))

Last but not least. Tony Robbins has a very important initiative going on. Details here. It is about donating food, clothing and hope to those in need. Please do something if you can, even an extra smile and an old jumper might be the best of Christmas gifts for someone who has lost hopes.

Footsteps in the snow

2008-11-24T09:49:00.002Z

Dear everyone,

Hope your week got as amazing as mine: it is snowing.
We've got about 10 cm of snow...and it hasn't stopped yet. Am so glad about it!!!
How can I not share this with you??;-)

Have taken my camera with me this morning so...piccies, piccies piccies;-)
Stay tuned!!!

On Rescue Remedy and Witches

2008-11-21T18:59:00.001Z

Hello everyone,

Yeah yeah, am still reading a lot…and keep joining conferences. Am about to join one on death penalty. In all honesty, that’s not my cup of tea at this very moment of my life, at all...but I promised someone I would go there and give her my support so...let’s forget about the freezing cold winter night and...go.

I’m low in energies these days therefore I decided to get some rescue remedy (Bach flowers. Try them if you haven’t yet. They do work, although slower than non-natural medicines) but am feeling...funny, as if I got drunk –believe me, I haven’t! Maybe it’s just something one must feel sooner or later in life. Or maybe...it’s the side-effect of Lovecraft’s short-stories on witches which I just finished reading? Might be so...

Plans for the weekend: do you have any? I do not, other than working on a short-story I have written. I just realised it would not work the way it is at the moment. Problem is...I do not really know how that is going to change or, rather, what’s needed for the story to work. It sounded pretty good when I first wrote it two weeks ago but just woke up this morning thinking ‘that’s so silly’.
Ever happened to you? I hope so, for my own sake of course, don’t really want to be the only one, not on this;-)

Before wishing you an amazing weekend I just wanted to inform you that I’ve just taken another picture of the sky. Am I obsessed with that or what? Guess I am but...doesn’t matter. It makes me happy so that’s something I do. Bought a brand new camera just to take better pictures so...need to use my camera, that’s all. I am not strange, mad or something...just...practicing as a photographer;-)
(Will post that later, if it looks decent enough)

Promises

2008-11-18T17:35:00.002Z

Hello everyone,

hope you're enjoying yourselves.

Saturday evening was very nice. No-one asked us for feedback (which is great), we just heard people reading short (very short) stories and had a chat and a laugh. I did enjoy one of the stories, wasn’t particularly keen on the others but I guess it’s just personal taste.

I did not forget the promise I made on writing a review on Daniel Deronda. It is just that I have been busy writing reviews on other books for an online magazine and I was trying to do so the best way I could so...kept reading and re-writing;-)

As you know I have decided to (re-) read classics until the end of the year. It's just something I feel like doing and a great experience;-) I could not explain reasons for that but I think books feel different when you read them for the second time, years later. However, some of the classics coming my way are new to me.

I have always admired George Eliot's work, since I got my hands on Middlemarch (amazing, fantastic, read it) ages ago.
When I jotted down my list idea was to get Adam Bede but when I went to the bookshop they had run out of copies (does it ever happen to you? I just hate it right away but then end up getting books which I enjoy a lot so...destiny works its own ways;-) so I got Daniel Deronda instead (Penguin UK edition, 700 pages, font is so very small) I did enjoy the book a lot. If I was to give George a suggestion to improve it I would say...get rid of some minor characters because it can sometimes get too crowded therefore confusing. However, I think Gwendolen is amazingly portrayed. She's so real and the character's mind and emotions are described so well it just feels like you, the reader, do know her.

Gwendolen has a big ego. She takes things for granted because she thinks she deserve only the best of everything. The only person she really cares for (other than herself of course) is her mother and that's why, when the family becomes poor and they are all forced to earn a living, she decides to marry a man she does not love (I didn’t like him either.). Well, to tell you the truth she does so also because she doesn’t want to do any teaching...but in this particular case I couldn’t blame her and, anyway, just to be fair, main reason is her mother.

Daniel never got to meet his mother and father, has spent his entire life thinking Sir Hugo -who 'adopted' him- was his real father and he would end up living the life of an Englishman. Still, one day he gets to meet a girl, a Jewess, and from that moment on he will be looking for his real identity and will find out his mother is a Princess who rejected her religion and made choices out of her need for independence.

As you can imagine, Gwendolen will fall for Daniel and he does that too, at the beginning, but things turned out differently from what expected which, I confess, was quite upsetting to me. Still, while reading you get to understand there's no way for them to be together because their personal journeys would not be completed if they were to marry. And it is sad, yet necessary.

Daniel Deronda is not a book about religion, not in the sense one would imagine. It is about nature versus nurture, looking for who we really are through friends, family and, also, religion. I’ve learned a lot reading this book and I’d suggest you to do the same.

The writer's way;-)

2008-11-15T14:35:00.000Z

Surely whoever speaks to me in the right voice, him or her I shall follow, as the water follows the moon, silently, with fluid steps anywhere around the globe . Walt Whitman (from Vocalism)

It is finally Saturday. Hope you all have great plans for the evening. I am going to meet up with some friends, for one of these ‘writers-only’ rendez-vous which I so much enjoy.
Well, non-writers have been invited too but am not sure they would ever be interested, or feel at ease, listening to conversations all going one way;-)
I’d love to tell you what we are going to do, give details out…but truth is…I do not know. I was told some people are going to read incipits of their stories but are we going to comment one by one? Are we just going to listen and comment at a later stage? Are we going to comment at all, ever?;-) (I am not that keen on giving comments out. I know how hard it is to write just one line and sometimes commenting on a work-in-progress means the writer is going to get a writer’s block. Horrible, horrible, horrible!
Whatever we do, I am sure it’s going to be good although…I am quite busy at the moment… I have this voice in my head…keeps talking, over and over. I hope I won’t get an headache!
The voice is talking about a story I am writing…well…it’s of about 100 words for the time being but I am sure it will grow once I get to know the main character;-)
Well, this is the writer’s way…voices at all times, headaches and…stories which –hopefully- people are going to enjoy;-)

Have a great weekend, I am going to get a few more books (The Uncommon Reader, Alan Bennett; What Maisie knew, H. James) off my list. Am so happy about that;-)

Friends

2008-11-13T14:21:00.000Z

Hello everyone,

I’ve received a few emails from new readers and I am ever so grateful for that. Please do tell your friends about my blog and jot me an email if you like!

As usual, so many things happened since I last wrote here. Should have extra hours in the day in order to write about all that happened....

I met Nobel Prize winner Rita Levi Montalcini (99 years old and amazingly young at heart!) and, a few days earlier I had met Professor Teresa de Laurentis (for those of you who do not know who she is...well...she’s sort of the mother - one of them – of gender studies). They were both amazing although I enjoyed Ms Montalcini’s speech best. Maybe, I did so because she truly is a feminist (according to my own idea of it which is not about feeling better than others, men, but, rather, believing women have so much to give and we can use typically female characteristics to improve the lives of others). Ms Montalcini was promoting one of the many initiatives she is involved with, namely a project on literacy for women living in third world countries- they are focusing on Somalia at the moment. In doing so, she reminded us of how women, mothers able to read and write, can share their knowledge with their children which reminded me of Doris Lessing’s Nobel Speech and, also, of my own mother who taught me how to read when I was 3.

I finally decided which are the books I am about to read this month and that feels great. Books befriended me my entire life and never let me down.

What characteristics do you look for in a friend?
I was thinking about that just a few days back and realised I do not ask for much but some characteristics are needed.
Loyalty, respect, kindness, trust...and the ability to listen and be there for me when I most need it.

I met people just a few weeks ago, complete strangers who gave me the time and support I wasn’t expecting from them but from others I thought of as ‘friends’. Funny how one gets to learn what truly matters in life.
I’m sure we’ve all been betrayed by friends and been gifted with love by strangers.

Well, I think I’ll get back to my good friend Daniel Deronda (by George Eliot) now. Promise I will soon write about it and until then I hope a friend, be it old or new, will come knocking at your door;-)

The Kite Runner

2008-11-04T08:12:00.002Z

Rain, rain and more rain.
Weekend was warm and sunny but we had a rainy Monday and today’s not looking brighter either.
Still, I enjoy the rain a lot. Have you ever thought of how many things one can do when it rains?
My favourite way of spending a rainy day is sitting on the couch, sipping bergamot tea befriended by a good book. Yes, life can be that great;-)

The good book I was with last week was The Kite Runner. As you know, during the summer I was so busy studying I could hardly update my ‘book wish’ list therefore it’s now a relief to be able to read. I do not know how many books I will read until the end of the year – I tried to join reading groups, as well as NANOWRIMO, but something always comes up – but I do want to enjoy as many books as I can.

The Kite Runner is Hosseini’s first novel. Impressive. It is extremely well written, honest, charming. Most of the times the narrator is Amir, the protagonist and a story-teller. We first meet him when he’s 12 and lives in Afghanistan with his dad and two servants, Ali and Hassan.
Hassan is Amir’s best friend but these words are never to be spoken: he is a low-caste servant and people would mind if only they knew. We soon discover how politics and gossip influence the kids’ lives and I found myself wondering how silly people can be and act – I already knew but the book makes it so obvious.
During the local kite-fighting tournament Amir witnesses something very bad happening to Hassan but he has no courage to stand out for his friend and runs away. Since then, his relationship with Hassan changes and although Amir’s guilt is strong and deep within his soul, he is unable to speak.
The two take separate ways (okay, won’t give too many details out) and a few years later Amir and his dad, Baba, move to America where Baba gets sick and Amir gets married – for no other reason than love -.
Baba dies, Amir goes back to Afghanistan as a way to forgive himself (and ask for forgiveness) but everything there feels different.
In the meanwhile Hassan too gets married and...shot dead. But a part of him, his son Sohrab, is still alive and Amir will go looking for him. He will save the innocent, the child, the future, and in doing so he will save himself too (sorry, couldn’t leave this out).

The book is well-written, unique in its simplicity. Still, brings out and about so many emotions – I couldn’t control myself at one point (page 216, Bloomsbury UK edition) and started crying... – and I think it’s going to make a great gift for Christmas.

blue sky ...and fairie doors

2008-10-28T15:20:00.007Z

Hello everyone,

I just copied pictures I have taken in the past month or so in my memory stick and I wanted to share them with you. Today there will be a full-moon so...enjoy the sky and make a wish.

It’s weird, as a child I kept telling people the sky was blue at night...they hardly believe me. Still, I was so very convinced of that...and one of the pictures has just that...a blue sky.
Was I right then? Am I just looking for something good I did or said? Might be so. After all, I do am a human being, and I sometimes need a burst of self-confidence, wherever it comes from.

Truth is...this is a very strange day for me. When I went out this morning I could clearly smell cyclamin, which reminds me of my grandmother. And believe me, there were no cyclamins in the street. Magick.
Magick...which reminds me of fairy tales.
Therefore as soon as I got online I started looking for fairie doors which remind me of an old house, in the countryside. I’ve always loved fairie doors. But not the ones you see in the shops. The ones already in place, the old ones, the ones placed in houses and cottages in the country.
Do fairies really use them?
Do fairies really exist?
Kids believe they do and although I no longer am a kid, I do too.
I like the idea there is good magick in the world although we hardly see it, or, rather, believe there is only because we do not touch it.
Still, it is somwhere out there, in the people we call friends, in the smile of a stranger, in the colour of the sky.

...Skybluepink, can you remember that?

I wish you will all be able to open a fairy door tonight;-)

Dust

2008-10-23T08:34:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone,

Weeks have gone so quickly since I last updated the blog. Most days were spent studying, sitting at my desk, taking notes, struggling with eyes which had lost their ability to cry and which were huring so much I could barely keep them open.
I went to see a specialist who ended up telling me I did need different lens and, also, that artificial tears were the only painless solution. Still, it did/does hurt to use them, feeling my eyes burning and not being able to open them for a while. Still, I had to study, to forget about the pain and keep my eyes open as much as I could.
Study: that was my only thought, some sort of obsession I was not willing to let go.

I finally took my exams.
Did not pass them.
Quite likely the 'chosen ones' were just enough not to give opportunities to others. In one case, a girl even told me she knew...therefore I should not feel disappointed, nor upset. Still, that's exactly how I feel, tonight at least.
I am tired, and confused.
Phd was my B-plan so what am I left to do now?

Be a writer.

I know, that's the A-plan, the one that really matters...but how do I know I won't fail that too? I have spent the past three months studying, filled my head with Auerbach, Todorov, Barthes (namely, literary critics) and have give up so much for nothing but dust.
Yes, dust.
Dust is what I found under piles of printed pages, books, notes, notebooks - the room is horribly filled up with that and so much more - which I studied, read, used and abused during the past three months. At the moment, it feels as if my life was on a tightrope and I was walking up and down but never looking down...

It's now over, no matter what. I feel emptied, dust myself.

What am I going to do now?

Send my novel around.

I am writing this down, looking at it through a screen, will post this message tomorrow morning (so that I'll be able to read and correct it before I publish it): that sentence is for the whole world to see, me included or, rather, me before and after anyone else.
I need to see it, I need to 'touch' my dream, via the screen of my computer.

I'm just tired and upset tonight. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine, always am. I'm just letting myself go to whatever comes out. I'm not here to make things up, stories of happy endings. I am here to be me, whatever that means.

And the 'me' writer wants to turn this page with a quote, a sentence I love taken from How should one read a book, Virginia Woolf:

Wait for the dust of reading to settle; for the conflict and the questioning to die down; walk, talk, pull the dead petals from a rose, or fall asleep. Then suddenly...the book will return, but differently.
Wait for the dust of reading to settle.

Enjoy the dust;-))

The boss, at last!

2008-09-30T15:50:00.003+01:00

In the car...

He looks way bigger in this picture...

Wish upon a star

2008-09-29T15:40:00.003+01:00

Just a week to go before the first two PhD exams. Am I scared? No, don't worry, just terrified. They may ask me *absolutely* everything and it might be the only thing I haven't even thought of.
I know, that's not a very positive way of looking at this but I am just tired.
Plus, I just got a temp job so instead of studying my own things as planned, I will have to study for students. Teachers studying, I know, sounds crazy, but I think it is important to know exactly what you're talking about so repetition is the only way.

Luckily, no more vineyard work for me: I can finally talk about our very special boss checking on us: Leo - would love to add pictures to this message but it's not loading for some very weird reasons so will do so later-

Leo's just 7 months old but looks quite big. He's growing so fast...
He's such an amazing little dog and very sweet indeed. Loves to get attention;-)
He's a star and I wish all male were that sweet (I know I am just daydreaming now;-))

October: 7 and 8. Please do think of me, I'll be trying my luck;-)

Have a great week -I'm off to study for tomorrow's class...wish I could at least teach literature (have to teach grammar for the time being...sigh...)

Picking grapes, teaming up

2008-09-20T08:49:00.003+01:00

Dear everyone,

I do am still alive, just am working at the moment -and studying at night so am quite tired -. I am picking grapes and my hands are just...black...horrible. They look so dirty although I do clean them a lot but black grapes leave a mark ...

Although I am very tired I like this job because it's a team work and...we do have a very special boss...but I won't tell you just yet, stay tuned;-))

On beauty

2008-09-09T09:30:00.003+01:00

Zadie Smith is an extremely talented writer. And charming. So charming that reading her books is some kind of 'must-do' for any woman, I believe.
On Beauty is her best work: set in London, tells the story of two families struggling to understand what really matters in life.

Got me thinking, about a number of things I won't bore you with. And memories of some of its best pages came back to mind a few days ago, while listening to a guy in a bar.
"I'm such a good-looking guy, women love me" he was saying to the girl in front of him.
I couldn't stop looking at her while he was talking. In my mind, she was bored and about to stop him and ask "Is beauty something you achieved, worked hard for or is it no additional value whatsoever and you won't be remembered for that only?"

She didn't say anything, I went home.
A few days later I am still here thinking of it and wondering. They might have been friends, lovers, relatives...and maybe she've heard all that a thousand times before...but me, outsider of that situation, am still here thinking physical beauty is nothing I remember people for. I remember a smile, a word, a joke, I remember unattractive people who somehow helped me moving on with my life, achieving something, remembering what really matters, people I shared a part of my own journey with...but no beauty.
Am I that strange? Might be so, but it's okay, I'm fine with that. I will still be here thinking beauty means inner light and will be grateful for all the inner lights I saw in my life.

The secret agent - part 1

2008-09-04T09:41:00.003+01:00

Hello everyone,

Have spent the past few weeks studying studying and studying again. Am getting confused and quite tired, so tired that I got a very bad flu and am coughing at all times.
Boaring. I hate feeling sick and I hardly get to the stage but...think my body is telling me to slow down. Unfortunately, this is not the right time, deadlines, meetings and exams are approaching soon...

If you're curious about the title of this post...well..have been feeling like a secret agent for the past few days. There's no special reason, other than some silly jokes with a friend. But it's fun, def. what I need at the moment, a distraction.

...I'll get back to books now...have a great day, hope it will be as relaxing and nice as the lady in the picture...

"...one of the oldest debut writers on record"

2008-08-12T09:12:00.006+01:00

Rejection.
Rejection letters.

If you've ever received one, please do not give up, and do not think you're not good enough. The majority of great writers have received at least one while struggling to publish their first (most problems seem to show up at the beginning) book. And they ended up becoming people we love and wouldn't live without!

I am not saying we all have talent (artistic talent), but I think dreams are always to be followed, no matter what. They make us happy, and open to others, in many different ways.

I am not sure Mrs Lorna Page thought she would ever publish A Dangerous Weakness (she wrote it three years ago and didn't even look for a publisher!) but she did, at the amazing age of 93 (Congratulations!!!)! And yes, you might think it's a long way to go but I do believe this to be...life: if something has to happen, it will, no matter what and no matter how long one will have to wait for it.

Full Article on the Guardian website.
And, for those who won't be reading it...

The grandmother of two, whose name was previously known to publishing only as one of 55 pseudonyms of the veteran pulp writer, 80-year-old Donald S Rowland, said: "I've always written. It seems I've been writing for a hundred years." This will be true in less than seven years time, particularly as Page said that her housing plan had given her a new lease of life. (I love this sentence, I think Martin Wainwright is a great journalist!)

I am sorry I haven't updated the blog last week. PhD deadlines approaching and there's never enough time! However, I want to get you thinking on something I read just yesterday in A Theory of Narrative (Frank Stanzel). Why summaries are always told at the present tense? It may seem a very silly detail but it does influence the whole thing a lot. Plus, there is hardly a mention on the point of view used by the author but, again, this is a very important decision (the first I'd add)he or she made because it's not about what you tell but how you tell it, isn't it?

Don't think I'll be able to update the blog again by the end of the week so have a great weekend!!

The house (of spirits)

2008-08-01T08:46:00.002+01:00

Last night I was out with some friends. We all seemed fine until we met a girl who, until 10 months ago, was "happily" married to one of us. M. hasn't been himself ever since she left him. And last night he was quite upset, especially because he saw her with "the other".
How does it feel when all the promises you made get broken and all of a sudden you are forced to deal with a life which, to you, doesn't seem to be your own and there is simply no reason for it?

I wouldn't be here telling you this story if it wasn't for a word which, after the meeting, kept haunting our conversations as a spirit. The word is "house".

The house is the physical place one feels (or should feel) safe, protected, happy indeed.
"House" equals "home".

Instead, that friend of mine begun talking about how difficult it is for him to live in the very same place he once shared with his soon-to-be ex wife.

It all got me thinking of how important the house (we then call "home")is for all of us, and it's weird considering I'm just re-reading "The House of Spirits" by Cilean (I know, she wasn't born there!) writer Isabel Allende who I had the pleasure to meet a few years ago.

blogging made easy...

2008-07-30T17:56:00.003+01:00

Hello everyone, think I now have a new reader, the very person who managed to save my life -blogging life indeed - because I could not update parts of the blog thanking to some javascripts headaches so was stuck with eternal "saving"...So...thank you Mr Greek (can't remember how to say that in Greek though...studied the language some ten years ago I think)
Feel a lot better now.

Have been looking for essays on women's writing recently and came across a very interesting blog I'd suggest you to read (see Vanity Fea in my list of favourite links). I also have a list of books I am desperate to get my hands on...although, I must confess, I am feeling quite tired. Maybe the whole PhD idea is not that great and I should just share D. Lessing's idea (people who comment books do so because they do not truly love books or they would be reading instead!).Well writing about literature, to me, is not about what I may have lost but rather what I may gain and help others to gain. For example, better understanding. Does it make sense?

However, all considered, I do not know what is going to happen to me in the future but I do love to think Walt Whitman wrote a poem for me too:

Poets to Come
POETS to come! orators, singers, musicians to come!
Not to-day is to justify me, and answer what I am for;
But you, a new brood, native, athletic, continental, greater than before known,
Arouse! Arouse—for you must justify me—you must answer.

I myself but write one or two indicative words for the future,
I but advance a moment, only to wheel and hurry back in the darkness.

I am a man who, sauntering along, without fully stopping, turns a casual look upon you, and then averts his face,
Leaving it to you to prove and define it,
Expecting the main things from you.

Brutal Beginnings - writers as liars

2008-07-19T09:32:00.004+01:00

Interesting article on today's Guardian (UK) about writer Tobias Wolff:

Writers of fiction like to say they ply their trade by telling lies, but Tobias Wolff really was a liar. He would not be where he is today if he hadn't been. Terrorised by a violent stepfather, dependent for refuge on his floundering mother, he made up stories in order to survive.

Also from Guardian website:

Novelist Salman Rushdie yesterday claimed to have broken wine writer Malcolm Gluck's record for book signings after adding his full name to 1,000 books on a tour to promote his latest novel.

As much as I'd love to share "signings" problems with Mr Rushdie, I don't think I would ever compare myself with a wine writer: novels and wine do not have the same taste, do they?;-)

Surfing on the Thames

2008-07-10T10:07:00.001+01:00

Yesterday, Italian papers were filled with the news of a London-based guy, Andy White, surfing on the Thames to get to work (in the City). I confess the idea surprised me too reason being...well, have you seen the Thames? I love it, believe me, but it is way dirtier than the Tube...(and I hate rats, just the thought of meeting one makes me shiver)
However, all considered I thought you might want to read more about this (in English).

Am trying to study these days but I feel so tired. It is just way too hot and I don't like it. Which, I do have a feeling, I keep writing in all posts recently...but it's just so hard to do something, anything at all, when temperature gets to 35° or more and there seems to be no way to feel better.

However, one thing seems to work quite well for me at the moment: beginnings. I have written 5 beginnings of stories in the past few days. Unfortunately, have no time to write but it's good to know my mind and imagination* still work properly;-)

*have used the word imagination because have read that that was the word used for "creativity" (which is one of my favourites ever) by Shakespeare. Am not sure how I had forgotten that though...

Some like poetry

2008-07-04T09:09:00.000+01:00

Now that I am back on track I am also working on my PhD proposal and looking for new ideas to add, the lastest of which is "Comparative literatures". Easier said than done to tell you the truth because although I could easily chose French -which I studied at University - I am more inclided on Spanish...and am therefore desperately looking for Spanish-speaking women writers...any help? Please give me a shout!

Anyway, one of the amazing aspects of this research is the "popping into things" aspect. Basically, I start from point A, thinking I'll get to point B but end up in point Z and I just love it. So, as always, I want to share this with you. It's a poem by Nobel winner Wislawa Szymborska (apparently, the "y" has to be pronounced as an "o")

Some like poetry by Wislawa Szymborska
Write it. Write. In ordinary ink
on ordinary paper: they were given no food,
they all died of hunger. "All. How many?
It's a big meadow. How much grass
for each one?" Write: I don't know.
History counts its skeletons in round numbers.
A thousand and one remains a thousand,
as though the one had never existed:
an imaginary embryo, an empty cradle,
an ABC never read,
air that laughs, cries, grows,
emptiness running down steps toward the garden,
nobody's place in the line.

We stand in the meadow where it became flesh,
and the meadow is silent as a false witness.
Sunny. Green. Nearby, a forest
with wood for chewing and water under the bark-
every day a full ration of the view
until you go blind. Overhead, a bird-
the shadow of its life-giving wings
brushed their lips. Their jaws opened.
Teeth clacked against teeth.
At night, the sickle moon shone in the sky
and reaped wheat for their bread.
Hands came floating from blackened icons,
empty cups in their fingers.
On a spit of barbed wire,
a man was turning.
They sang with their mouths full of earth.
"A lovely song of how war strikes straight
at the heart." Write: how silent.
"Yes."

mon petit garcon

2008-07-02T10:12:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone,

how's the weather like where you live?

It's getting hotter and hotter here in Italy and I just can't stand it. I am not the 'sun-obsessed' type. I think I enjoy the weather more when it's cold because I know I can just put more clothes on and feel fine whereas at the moment I just feel like I don't wanna do anything at all.

I'm finally free from school and have so much to catch up with. Have piles of emails to reply to and my 'to do' list seems endless also because in just a few weeks we will celebrate grandad's 89th birthday. It's a big get together and needs organising.

The 'boy' I have been talking about in the past few months is off to Paris for a course. Am not that convinced this is the right wording (Paris is still Paris, so sounds more like a 'working' holiday to me) though. He will be back in some 20 days and it's weird to be without him after three months. I don't know if being apart is a good or a bad thing in our 'non-relationship' but...we'll see what happens. At least, I have plenty of time now;-)

Also, I am still writing a synopsis about my novel and that is giving me such a headache. Reason being...well...I'm a perfectionist which always make it complicated. Plus, it's not easy to write something cold about 'your darlings' (as S. King would put it). Will try to finish in the next few weeks and send it off to a few publishers, at least I managed to jot a list of people I would love to send it to. One thing at a time;-)

Well another picture to add today - am in this 'picturey' mood these days, don't quite know why - which represents how I feel at the moment (in a very positive way indeed).

Have a good week!

Open Access: a new publishing concept

2008-06-23T09:53:00.000+01:00

Good Morning everyone,
hope the weekend was good and relaxing. It's quite hot in Italy, getting hotter and hotter and I...just don't like it. I just feel so lazy and dizzy when temperature raises over 30°---

Other than that...weekend was good, re-watched Monsters INC (you should watch that movie if you haven't yet, it is so funny!) and tried to relax.

A few days ago I was at a conference about Open Access. Basically it is a brand 'new' idea about copyright. Some people seem quite keen to start working with that -publishers included- but I haven't been convinced yet. I do believe in new technologies and the likes but I just don't see myself without a book in my hand. I think no matter what books are our past and future and yes, there needs to be room for everything which is new and challenging but...can you imagine a world with no books at all? My house would be empty -useful when having to move or clean!- and...lonely. A book is a friend and don't think that could ever be replaced.

What is your opinion?

Read this and have your say!

Sunflowers

2008-06-16T10:05:00.000+01:00

School is finally over and although it's been very hard for me, especially when it had to do with dealing with children's sufferings, it was an important experience and I am now trying to cheer up. Truth is...I do miss the kids a lot, especially some of them.

Nothing happened since I email the publisher a month or so ago so I finally decided to give it another shot. Nothing may come out of there but I think I will focus on that now. Will contact more people and will try to make the most of out the free time I now have.

Am also planning to study a few things during the summer and, of course, keep chasing people for the Phd. Lots on my plate, let's wait and see what happens (although I was never that good at waiting...)

However, I went out on Saturday and bought a sunflower. I've always wanted to have one and thought it was just about time. Flowers, plants in general, help me a lot feeling happy and relax and if I was to suggest a 'medicine' for unhappiness I would def. suggest to get a plant and watch it grow. Of course, a dog may work too!;-))

Poetry

2008-06-07T10:04:00.000+01:00

I know, I know, I'm such a bad girl...should have spent more time here, writing and sharing life with you instead of spending days (endless days) at school...but it's been hectic, hectic and even more hectic and it's going to be so next week too. Feels like I've been emptied of all that was left inside and I can only hear a (very) fainted voice saying 'please have a whole night sleep'.
Haven't been able to do that yet because after school was over I was at home translating some 50 pages regarding exchange rates and the likes (grrrr). Haven't finished yet but am about to, well hope to during the weekend and the feeling makes me feel a little more relaxed.

Day is sunny and will have dinner with some colleagues tonight. Am not sure what it's going to be like (we are quite...'different' I should say. Some of them remind me of old spinsters I've read about in novels - they are married though! - for nothing but their attitude towards life. Where is Joy gone?) but I'll try to make the most out of if, after all I may not see some of these people for a very long time or maybe never again after school is over.

If you're wondering why I've chosen that title...well, I got back to one of my old favourites these days, Hemingway. Am reading his collection of short stories and found some of his poems online. Want to share one of them with you, I find absolutely marvellous:

Poetry
So now,
Loseing the three last night,
Takeing them back today,
Dripping and dark the woods . . .
24 Sept 1944

Have a great weekend!!

Councelling, PNL...and headaches...

2008-05-17T08:54:00.000+01:00

Hi all,

Days have gone by very quickly: school is about to finish and problems get in the open just now. As you can imagine I am not able to give details but...it is hard to see so much anger and pain in such young lives. Children should be happy, and loved.
Love is the key, I believe.

It's raining today and I have been trying to work on a translation I was given 3 weeks ago. I just can't. It's just that my head is somewhere else.

I have started reading a book on 'councelling'/PNL. I am not an expert and my own opinion is that...the book is full of rubbish. Come to work with me for a day and see if the 'non-reactive' technique works with kids. Maybe it's just that I am not ready to let go when I see them throwing out some of their anger. Truth is...it is hard. Wish I could protect them, make them feel safe but I can't. And I know it's okay to feel this way but it still hurts, a lot.

And love hurts too because ...Mr Nice Guy seems to be so scared and afraid. Of everything. Sometimes it feels like he's playing a game - as if this was the funny part of the story. Truth is...he gets me sooooooo confused, I just don't know what to do. Still, when we're together I feel safe. I feel happy...and probably look stupid because one of the kids told me 'Oh, you look so happy today, what happened?' Of course, I couldn't reply but I do know I look happier than usual, nothwithstanding the fact that nothing happened between us and we're just friends.

Well...I hope all of you will feel like me today, butterflies, butterflies and more butterflies!;-))

tell me what we're gonna do now...

2008-05-09T15:40:00.000+01:00

Haven't updated the blog in a while. Things have been hectic, especially at school. Three children cried in my arms, for different reasons but the result...well didn't change much. I felt -and still feel- powerless. I just don't understand how people, adults, can hurt children. It just doesn't make sense to me. I cannot change this, nor stop this so all I'm left doing is holding them in my heart and tell them it will be okay.

Also, one of my closest friends just lost her mother. It happened in just 50 days...and tomorrow, at the funeral, I don't have a clue on what I am going to tell her. I just wish there was something 'different' or, rather,'useful' to tell her but I try to imagine what it feels like and there's nothing 'different'/'useful' which may help me.

Still...good things happened to (seems like there's some sort of cosmic balance). A relative we haven't heard from in ages called just last night. I won't get into details but all I can say it's that I am very happy about this. It is a turning point, silence has been broken and it feels amazing.

Also...oh...well...that horrible boy I mentioned in my previous post (horrible purely because he's too scared!) told me he loves me. It was very unexpected...and very special but...don't know what will happen next. Am just here left wondering and listening to 'Tell me what we're gonna do now', Joss Stone. Am off to my local bookshop now. A colleague spent a full hour talking about Everyman by Philip Roth so finally decided to give it a go. Will keep you posted Have a lovely weekend

Ps The picture above is also the desktop of my mobile. Flowers my brother bought for my birthday;-)

(re-)Birthday

2008-04-28T15:21:00.000+01:00

Hello everyone,

Haven't been around in a while, been so busy with school and everything...

Today it is my birthday and...well a very special one I should say.
First of all, I think I can say I'm happy or, if not 'happy' at least jolly. I am just trying to make the most out of whatever comes my way. Am not sure where it will lead me to but hey, you only live if you try, don't you?

Second of all, I have been thinking of writing a special email (to a publisher) for a while now and although it's a busy day...I just did it. My arms are shaking but it feels good. Feels like I'm finally at ease with who I am (and what I write) so I can stand up for myself. Deep down inside I still am a little girl, afraid of the world, but I do feel like I need to communicate with the universe.

Third of all...a few weeks ago a new colleague came along. Well...he's not a 'real' colleague, he's a councellor working with one of the kids...and we get along very well with each other. I don't know where it will lead me to, don't even know if he likes me (although I do have a feeling he does) or not but he sort of 'opened a few doors' in my soul. I feel liberated, and it is great. I was beginning to think I would die a spinster because I do not trust men (no offence, please) and I may still do so but I just like the idea I can still feel something for a guy no matter how afraid I am.

Wish I could tell you (now!!) what's gonna happen next in my life but maybe, just for today, I don't think it really matters. Baudelaire thought the best part of travelling was not getting there but travelling itself, expectations, joy, happiness so...wherever you go...enjoy the journey;-))

Pronouns - out!

2008-04-09T08:52:00.000+01:00

Day is quite chilly and I keep sneezing. Still, the sleepless night is not affecting me as much as I expected.

Yesterday, on my way to work, something magic happened: a fragment! Just a few lines which made my day...and all I could think of while having breakfast this morning was a poem written in 1862 by Emily Dickinson so I decided to share it with you (although I feel you might know it already)

Enjoy it!

Going to Him! Happy letter!
Tell Him -
Tell Him the page I did'nt write -
Tell Him - I only said the Syntax -
And left the Verb and the pronoun - out -
Tell Him just how the fingers hurried -
Then - how they waded - slow - slow -
And then you wished you had eyes in your pages -
So you could see what moved them so -
Tell Him - it was'nt a Practised Writer -
You guessed - from the way the sentence toiled -
You could hear the Boddice tug, behind you -
As if it held but the might of a child -
You almost pitied it - you - it worked so -
Tell Him - No - you may quibble there -
For it would split His Heart, to know it -
And then you and I, were silenter.

Tell Him - Night finished - before we finished -
And the Old Clock kept neighing "Day"!
And you - got sleepy -
And begged to be ended -
What could it hinder so - to say?
Tell Him - just how she sealed you - Cautious!
But - if He ask where you are hid
Until tomorrow - Happy letter!
Gesture Coquette - and shake your Head!

A crispy day in Spring

2008-04-04T16:17:00.000+01:00

Spring has always been my favourite season. It might well be because I was born in Spring but, to me, it is also for its connection to everything that is new in life.

Flowers begin to bloom; people look happy: go out, enjoy the sun and socialise. Life feels different. Do you feel the same?

The weekend is about to begin: sun is shining and a short-sleeved shirt works out fine. It would all be just perfect if only I was hay fever-free...but it’s okay, I’m entitled to feel unhealthy once a year, am I?;-)

The day is just perfect and I have decided to take a long walk by the river. Flowing water has always given me this feeling of peace and always been some sort of battery-recharger;-)

My plans for the weekend are reading (of course), trying to finish a poem I have been working on for the past few weeks and walking. Walking is one of the things I love best: makes me happy, relaxed and healty. I will also be looking for recipes – I love to cook and am eager to try something new. General idea is...desserts but am open to suggestions.

What about you? How is your nanowrimo doing? I tried for a while but am not sure it really works for me. I just think I need to write in my own times, force myself to do so every now and then but not forcing the story to come alive when I am not familiar (not enough) with characters etc.

The New Yorkers

2008-03-29T14:58:00.000Z

A very long week is over. I am about to spend the weekend relaxing and pampering my ego with good books and a brand new notebook, which, believe it or not, pleases the writer in me. I may write nothing but a few lines each page (and continue in a digiral format) but it does feel different from typing. It just makes me think of Hemingway, sitting in a cafè in Paris scribbling with his pencil.

What are you reading at the moment? I just finished The New Yorkers. I confess the very moment I saw the book I feel in love with its title, and cover. So I was eager to read it which is probably the reason why the relationship didn’t last long. In fact, although the beginning of the book is good and intriguing (and the big white dog is nothing but charming) I soon got lost. Too many characters, too many passages where the narrator jumps from one story to the other in no time and the reader is left wondering.

Still, the book is well-written and I loved the way Ms Schine talks about dogs. Plus, reading it was some sort of an experiment to me because the book is a first-person narration though the point of view is external: the she-narrator lives in the area where all stories take place so she gets to see, tell...and friendly judge.

I’m off to my local bookshop now so have a lovely weekend and get in touch with any reading suggestion!

Words of Truth

2008-03-21T09:14:00.000Z

First of all, I am not into politics at all. I'm just tired of hearing people claiming they will/can improve people's lives when it's clear all they want is to increase their own salaries. However, I think it is very important for me (us all) to take sides into the big "politics-related" argument of these days: Tibet and/VS China.

Are monks good?Bad? Do they have the right to fight?

As far as I'm concerned, the Dalai Lama is a good person, a lovely old man I enjoyed meeting a few years ago. The touch of his hand is kind and caring, hardly what he or, rather his brothers and sisters, are described to be these days. Plus, buddhism is and never was about violence. It is about being at peace with who we are and with others.

I know that things are never totally black or white but having said that I believe all the monks who have been brutalized, killed or insulted did not deserve that.

My main and only hope is that violence will stop and people will start communicating again.

I found a very touching poem in the Dalai Lama official site, Words of Truth, please read it.

Charmed, again

2008-03-15T08:03:00.000Z

I confess Charmed (TV series) has always been one of my favourites shows. I have watched (and waited for) all episodes to be broadcasted on TV and, when the show ended, I felt emptied (sort of). Charmed was a good show, so powerful that I would sit in front of the tv and forget about everything around me.

So...I ended up buying all the DVDs and am now watching it again, over and over again. And, believe it or not, it still helps. As I watch the show stress begins to fade, tension goes and my stomach stops aching. (was Charmed ever considered a medicine? Works for me!)

I left school on Thurday as angry as I would have never imagined I could be for something I don't really care for (reason being teaching was never a dream job to me) and, again, I couldn't sleep, eat...I just felt and still feel sick. Tried a few medicines (which of course do not work as all my physical problems are linked to what goes on in my mind) and as miserable as I felt I turned to Charmed for some comfort. Funny thing is it is working (Charmed and camomille)!

Why am I talking so much about a TV show? Well, first of all because I think Charmed was a great show and I wish there was more of it to watch. Secondly, because it helps me and helped me a lot (eg the storyline, way human relationships and emotions are portrayed is of great example to writers).

Is there anything that helps you??

However, other than Charmed (and school) I've just finished reading a book by Lalla Romano, an Italian writer, Maria. Maria is the true story (or I should rather say true fictional story as Romano points out in her preface to the book) of a servant told by the woman she works for. The book is quite touching specially for the power given to storytelling (Maria keeps telling stories about her family and every person she knows loves to tell stories and remember people and events).

Last but not least...I am going to buy a few plants over the weekend. Last year I bought a small lemon tree I am very proud of and ...don't know what will be next but am quite excited. I've always loved to have plants. Maybe I was a farmer in a past life, or something like that;-))

Rainy Friday

2008-03-07T15:25:00.000Z

Here we are again, the weekend is about to begin and another week has gone. It’s Friday, rains hard and it’s freezing cold.

Time goes by so quickly and it’s amazing to think of that, especially compared to the fact that it seems endless at night, when everyone else is sleeping and I just try to stop that one thought in my head which does not allow me to rest.

Many things happened this week and instead of focusing on them I cannot help thinking of writing. Every single stranger I’ve meet had some sort of aura calling me to write. Write about a man and his smell of wine; about a woman holding her baby; about an old woman and her dignity.

It’s women’s day tomorrow and I should suggest you all to celebrate, but I just don’t feel like it because...I have been a woman since the day I was born and I feel that every single day should be a celebration of who I am or, rather, who I want to become/be. And I feel every woman should do the same because life is not about the old battle women VS men but it is important to remember who we are.

So...my celebration is tonight: a friend invited me to a conference about telling tales to small children. As you should know by now I don’t write kiddies’ books/stories but I work with kids at the moment and I think this is going to be a very important experience for me both as a person and as a writer.

Trouble Sleeping

2008-02-29T15:03:00.000Z

It's late and I'm feeling so tired

Having trouble sleeping.

This constant compromise

Between thinking and breathing.

(Corinne Bailey Rae)

Life is hectic at the moment although I feel like I’m achieving absolutely nothing of what really matters so me. Is it really so? I wish I knew but I don’t seem able to so all I’m left doing is...thinking. Thinking over and over again. About me, my life, the kids, the future...I feel like I have a volcano inside of me and it’s boiling, ready to erupt, but nothing happens and it just continues boiling.

As a result, I can hardly sleep at night. I just go to bed, close my eyes...and begin to imagine: angry mothers willing to complain (have you ever noticed most parents never help their children but they just don’t want to hear the words ‘your son/daughter is not going to pass if he/she continues this way?’), piles of applications rejected or which I am unable to send, a ‘grey and old’ me thinking back of all the opportunities I missed.

Robbie Williams would say ‘No regrets, they don’t work, no regrets, they only hurt’ and that’s so amazingly true but sometimes all that you think and believe in fights with what you feel and suffer for and no matter how hard you fight...Heart wins.

Some days I look at the kids and think of all the ‘insider’s information’ I possess and wish I could turn back the clock: if I had know what I do now my life would have been way easier. And would still be so.

Well, I think it’s time I go out, get some fresh air, forget about this all and buy myself a new notebook...let’s see if the image of Hemingway in my head (the one of him in a cafè in Paris – a Movable feast) works with me too today;-)

Have a lovely weekend, wherever you are;-)

Touch my body

2008-02-18T11:01:00.000Z

I hope you all had a pleasant weekend. Mine was spent, mainly, in (re)writing my research proposal which is quite difficult, far away more than I ever expected. Reason being...well...every single time I read it an idea comes out...something that I’ve read in a book or article but which I can’t locate therefore quote. For example, how many writers ‘complain’ they have met people claiming they had ideas for a novel but never had time to write it, which is the only reason they did not become writers? A huge number I guess; number including Marian Keyes in the Bookseller in 2006 but, unfortunately, I can’t remeber which issue.

Believe it or not, this is an horrible feeling. It is like being stuck in the middle of two worlds and not being able to join any of the two. (therefore no satisfaction at all) Fact which made me thing of something I have read in a book (this is, most probably, one of my typical/top 5 sentences). The book is 84, Charing Cross Road (Helene Hanff) is a collection of letters the author exchanges with a bookshop in London (she is American) in order to buy cheap books.

In her letter dated 10 April 1950, Helen says that people go to London full of pre-made ideas and that is the main reason they always find what they were looking for. Weird, and interesting at the same time.

Weekend was also spent on lesson planning and listening “Touch my body”, Mariah Carey’s new song. I have been a fan for over 10 years now and I think she has an amazing voice and is a brilliant songwriter (although she hardly gets credit for that!). I met Mariah quite a few times and she’s a very nice person, which is the main reason I feel sorry for her being ‘forced’ to look at her best all the time and unable to have a private life. Would I ever want to be famous, that famous? Don’t think I would but I’d love to try, know how it feels, just for one day.

Lost in the sea

2008-02-15T15:50:00.000Z

Another week passed by (almost) with me suffering from lack of sleep and headaches. Still, I can say something good happened: the terrible kids in the new job are communicating with me. I do not know how long it will last but want to enjoy the moment (and personal victory!).

And the other two sweet lovely kids ...only 2 lessons left. It's breaking my heart into pieces, I'll miss them a lot...but won't def. miss one of their teachers, an horrible woman who's only capable of yelling.

How do I feel? How does it feel?
A friend sent me the link to a new website where I found something which might explain it all: Enjoy it!

Hope

2008-02-07T15:06:00.000Z

I wish I could find the right words, put them together, throw them all out, but these days I just can’t write. I am like a sailor, thrown in the middle of nowhere, looking for some sort of promised land but all I can see is...the sea.

I couldn’t sleep last night, I was nervous. And angry. I was and am so very angry. I hardly get that angry, but I was, I am. Yesterday the ‘usual’ teacher complained with me about the kids. I begin to think that she doesn’t really care about the kids, what’s good and bad, right or wrong. All she does is complain as if she loved to hear the sound of her own voice. Fact which I don’t really like because she raises her voice a lot, even with me, a colleague, an adult, a peer.

How would I describe a good teacher? Calm, firm, competent. I know, kids can give you headache, but, after all, they need guidance because although I believe in reincarnation (which also includes experiences of past lives influencing the present), I still think kids don’t have enough knowledge of the world to understand and deal with it.

Plus, good communication has nothing to do with screaming, shouting, complaining and the likes. (does it?)

So...yesterday was bad, today was even worst. The above-mentioned teacher was ignoring me(read talk about me with everyone but not talking to me) as if I had done something wrong (I don’t mind not having to talk to her but I do mind her gossiping about me for no reason). Then, I went to another school where I will be teaching (English – Alas!) until June. Colleagues seem nice (the ones I met)...but kids are horrible. Two of them introduced themself ...swearing (a lot, heavy stuff), and they both have so much anger inside. It kills me because I really have no idea on how to help them.

I was never that much interested into teaching, although I took quite a few teaching jobs, but my life as a student seems so amazingly far away, just like a dream. I didn’t like many of my teachers but I have never said any bad word to them and would have never done so. And my teachers...they had manners and they had respect for their job and other people’s work.

Is it going to be like this all the time?
I hope not. I hope it’s just a temporary feeling.

So, trying to forget about it all for a minute, I would like to suggest you to read a book by John Gardner, On Becoming a Novelist. The book is very interesting and a quick read. If you are a writer (or writer wannabe), you will find tips, explainations, stories, all of which will be of help.

Of great interest to me:
1. Gardner’s idea of editors. He points out that not all editors are good at what they do so even the best author could be rejected. That’s just a sad part of the game.

2. the real novelist does not give up. Gardner believes writing is some sort of yoga practice and although one may be rejected that should not stop him/her from writing.

I like this. I like everything (and everyone) that gives me hope.

Each time you break my heart

2008-02-01T14:20:00.000Z

A guy walks into a laudrette. He’s smart, well-dressed and good-looking. Everyone turns to look at him. Girls instantly fall for him. Still, he doesn’t bother, he’s there for a different reason.
He looks for an empty washing machine. He finds one, in the end: that’s when he takes off his shirt. And his trousers, a pair of Levi’s jeans. Throws everything in the washing machine, turns it on and finally sits down, legs-crossed, to read a paper.

Does this sound familiar at all?
Would it be of any help if I add the name of the guy?
That was Nick Kamen.
I am pretty convinced it was 1985.

Just a few days ago someone (I usually do not name names here) told me there is a sense of nostalgia in my blog which is something I have never thought of until I saw it written in that email. I confess it felt scary, scary because it is true. Still, that’s not all I am about but it is a very strong part of me at the moment and I just don’t know how to deal with that. Accept it? Hate it?

Truth is I used to be the “kid”, I used to feel younger than most people around so able to ask for help, able to express my feelings. Then, all of a sudden, things changed. Still, I’m only 30! I know, most people already have a husband/wife, kids, job (permanent) etc whereas it seems there is something else in store for me and I don’t know what it is yet and that doesn’t make me feel any better.

The whiter my hair gets, the more confusion takes over.

“Is this really right?” Keep asking myself that, especially since I started this temp job. The kids are just amazing but I can’t stand some of their teachers...so I wonder is it really them or is it me?
I am the adult, I should know... the “battle-within” starts, mostly concerning teaching methods. Teachers tell me “Only speak Italian, they will be forced to learn” (which is what most Cultural Linguistic Mediators do, force kids into a language). The voice in my head (and the kids’ behaviour) tell me “Speak English, get them to understand first, treat them as equals and they will be willing to learn”. [I don’t feel at ease with a “force somone to do something” attitude]
My method is working so far (teachers’ method... the kids complain they are Americans, not stupid) but it scares me to think I may not do the boys’ best interest.

So...all I am left with is books, the ones that keep me company and (I am strongly convinced) make me a better person. Renate Dorrestein befriends me at the moment. I am not sure what the title in English is (knowing more than one language is extremely handy!). It is a very good book although quite sad: the story of a woman (a tarot reader) who kills a man because he violated her daughter.

I have started this post with something nostalgic which sends me back some twenty years or so because a few days ago I bought a collection of songs dated 1986 and Nick’s voice, in a way, makes me feel safe, reminding me of a time in my life when being the kid meant enjoying everything and not being afraid.

[Nick, I hope you’ll get a new single out soon]

(The) Reader

2008-01-26T15:24:00.001Z

Good afternoon everyone.

I am very happy it’s Saturday: will be able to catch up with research proposal writing/editing, housework and...life! Was supposed to go to school this morning (in Italy it’s on 6 days a week, including Sat) but the kids went somewhere (can’t remember now) so I was basically given the day off.

Have you ever been a teacher in Primary school? It is the first time for me and I have to say it is weird. When I was in Primary school (okay, twenty years ago) life was different. So were teachers. I have such good memories of my teacher. She was lovely and extremely kind. I can’t remember a single day she raised her voice. I was a child, a student, someone eager to learn and loved to wake up in the morning and go to school. Mum would walk me there while helping me to memorise poetry – or math- and I know I did enjoy the time I spent there.

Now I’m older. I am the teacher, not the student so should feel better, more relaxed (it’s me deciding what to do) but I just can’t. I get so nervous and upset when I see everyone speaking in Italian with the kids because I know they don’t understand so this doesn’t make them feel welcome nor at ease. Plus, some of my colleagues are very good at...shouting...

Well...I usually teach English as a foreign language, not Italian and I just discovered it makes a huge difference. However, point is I am strongly convinced that talking in Italian at all times (well, Italian, English, French...) if the student knows nothing of it just makes his/her life horrible. (this is the main reason I introduced food-related vocabulary via a book used in the UK to teach Science)

Enough of that –sorry I’m talking too much about school these days!-. I have just finished reading The Reader (Ali Smith), which is a collection of short stories (various authors) and I did not enjoy that as much as expected. A friend of mine gave me the book (published in the UK by Constable, 2006) claiming it was such an amazing read and I just don’t think it is. I am sure Ali Smith is a very talented person but I could not connect with most of the stories she chose. However, other than the ‘obvious’ ones (eg an extract from Virginia Woolf’s Diary) I enjoyed, I loved one of the first short stories, Witch, G. Mackay Brown which tells the story of a woman accused of being a witch and clearly shows that all her prosecutors were not at all interested in finding out the truth.

Sad and scary...but true.

So witches and wizards out there, have a lovely weekend, hope the page you are about to write is something to be proud of. Me I’ll pop out to my local bookshop and see what I can read now (my ‘wish list’ is 8 pages long so hard to choose what’s next)

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

2008-01-22T15:02:00.000Z

I finally managed to finish the book I had started a month or so ago: Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. For those of you who never heard of it, it’s some sort of a diary of someone who lives in Tinker Creek and enjoys being there and spotting all the mysteries and small changes in nature. I confess at the beginning I was not much impressed because I am not that much into insects and the likes which are given a major part of the book. However, I am very happy I managed to finish reading it (namely, found time) because it was illuminating and inspiring and gave me a lot to think about.

For example,

“The people,” wrote Van Gogh in a letter, “are very sensitive to the changing seasons.” That we are “very sensitive to the changing seasons” is, incidentally, one of the few good reasons to shun travel. If I stay at home I preserve the illusion that what is happening on Tinker Creek is the very newest thing, that I’m at the very vanguard and cutting edge of each new season. I don’t want the same season twice in a row[...]

Stay at home to preserve myself from the illusion? Doesn’t that sound weird? It does to me. I’ve always thought that travelling was like a mind-opener. You go from place A (familiar) to place B (never been there before) and everything you see, hear, feel is new and different from anything you’ve seen, heard, felt. However, Annie Dillard seems to think that even something which is 100% familiar can be new, different from the last time you have seen, heard, felt it.

I’ve spent quite a few days thinking about this amd realised that in a way she is right because most of the times we give for granted what’s right in front of us. For example, I’ve spent so many hours in this room that I almost forgot how it really looks like and I think a writer should never do that. In fact, as Giacomo Leopardi once said, we should always feel like a 5 years-old, look at things with excitement and surprise, eager to discover the very essence of it.

It’s hard. Still, doable.

And I am quite close to it these days because my new temp job is with kids. In fact, I have been asked to teach Italian to two American boys (they both are 9 years old). Pretty easy, on paper. Truth is the job is extremely challenging. First of all because I have never done that before, not with such young children (and was asked to do that only because they could not find English speaking people, anyone at all!) and secondly because their teachers are horrible. I confess I found myself wondering how life was for me when I was their age and all I can remeber is the lovely face of a woman who was 50 (I think) at the time who had devoted her entire life to teach in schools. We were her family and the children she had never had (wasn’t married).

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that all the teachers are bad because I honestly do not think they are. I just feel that I wouldn’t feel happy with such teachers if I was a young boy who does not speak a single word of the language and gets the blame for it. It’s okay to do that with adults but I just don’t like this to happen with children. In America, one goes to school, takes projects, is taught to be independent and to feel part of it (of something in general) whereas in Italy children spend the time sitting in silence, listening to a teacher (or professor) who does pretty much feel like god – well, some sort of. Therefore, if you have different skills or, simply, do things in a different way...you are a ‘problem’.

(It’s hard to find a job here and even harder when all you can find makes you feel uneasy... Now you know one of the many reasons I am desperate to get into a PhD program and go back to the UK!)

Have a lovely week, I’ll go back to my homework for tomorrow;-)

it's snowing, at last!!

2008-01-04T09:01:00.000Z

I don't think I have updated the blog as much as in the past few weeks but I just can't resist sharing the amazing news with you:

it's snowing!!

I know, I probably sound just like a little girl who just received a new doll but that's the effect that snow has on me. I simply love watching it fall and covering the whole city with its kindness and purity. And yes, I know, it will soon turn into something dirty and icy therefore dangerous but for as long as it will stay this white and clean I want to enjoy it.

So please, come and sit next to me:

All I know...

2008-01-02T08:50:00.000Z

This was going to be the first entry in 2008. Unfortunately, it ended up being the first unrecorded entry of the year. In fact, I’ve been trying to get online all day long and I keep getting an error message saying something about uncorrect password so...have decided to write this anyway and will try to get online tomorrow either from home or outside. Would have done so today but have been sick for the past 4 days and still am not at my best.

So, while you were all outside celebrating the new year, I was at home, watching movies I love, in hope to feel a little less sick, sharing this very jolly moment with my mum and bro, who are sick too.

Having said that, it was not as bad as it may sound and I actually enjoyed watching movies like “you’ve got mail” [Sorry, I love that movie!] because they do remind me how strong dreams are in a person’s life. To tell you the truth, I’m all dreams, which is probably why I love such movies but...I think I like to be me. Not that there is nothing I wouldn’t change it’s just that I believe my dreams make me a better person.

Anyway, I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie but at a certain point Katherine (Meg Ryan) says something about life reminding her of something she read in a book which is exactly how I would like 2008 to be for me: a year full of words, events, characters who sound familiar therefore are not scary nor bad.

Also, I confess I do feel like Katherine at times. I just love the idea that I can write and somehow the universe is going to know what was on my mind because although I usually don’t like to share my own things I do think it’s important to take risks. To try. And if it doesn’t go or feel as expected, it’s important to try again. Harder.

All day long I have been thinking of sitting here and write (see previous post about daily writing routine) but I don’t quite feel this would be right today mainly because I feel like I’m running after one of my characters and I still don’t know where she’s going. So I guess all I have to do is keep running and wait for something to happen, something worth telling.

Until then, I want to share some of my plans for 2008. I have decided I will get myself busy contacting people about my writing. Will 2008 equal Publication for me? I think I want to find out. Also, I will continue looking for a way to get into Phd (I’m stubborn, I know. I like that) and I want to try something new (haven’t decided what yet).

What are your plans?;-)

Best Wishes

2007-12-29T10:03:00.000Z

Hi everyone,

am not sure I'll have time to sit down and blog before the end of the year so...

BEST WISHES: I hope you're gonna end 2007 surrounded by friendly faces, forget all the sorrows and troubles you've been through and let 2008 come along with joy and happiness...and a lot of writing of course!!!

Year almost over...

2007-12-27T10:01:00.001Z

I hope all of you, those who celebrate Christmas and those who do not, had a great day, relaxing and peaceful. After all, I think this is what really matters.

My day was spent with some family and...looking after my mum who got a very bad cold just two days previous and therefore wasn't at her best. She's still sick but getting better.

I confess that I kind of have the idea of a very white Christimas and was quite disappointed when I woke up that day and found there was no snow other than at the top of high mountains. I still have hopes but Christmas without snow is not quite the same, is it?

Any special present?

I mainly got books but my auntie brought tea cups for us. They look lovely but...first of all I am a tea-addict which means I drink far away more tea than the one needed to fill that small cup. Plus (and most of all)...she got the lovely idea for us all...including my brother and...well, he's not the flowerly type of guy...

Anyway...Christmas was good for me but not for some other people and I am quite sad about this. A friend of mine just told me she got to talk with a guy who knows the brother of the guy she dated for a while...well to cut a long story short...the guy she was dated has a girlfriend. I think they have been together for some ten years. He is not happy with her at all and during the summer he fell in love with my friend...problem is...my friend just found out that he is about to get married in just a few months time and she didn't know. Of course she didn't, he never told her!! Consequence was the poor thing got quite miserable on Christmas Eve and can't quite recover. I really hope MR Right is going to knock to her door quite soon because she needs to find true love!!

And because of the fact that books are my own - well, until further nothice;-) - this is my book list for the holidays:

84, Charing cross road, Helene Hanff
The reader, Ali Smith
Northanger Abbey, Jane Austen (old friends are always welcome)
The yellow wallpaper, Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Answers and dreams

2007-12-13T13:14:00.000Z

The past month have been nothing but hectic. I spent 9 hours at work every day and weekends on a different job or trying to catch up with all I hadn't done during the week.
Tomorrow is my last day of this job and I have learnt so much and have met such amazing people I do feel quite lucky. Still, yesterday was miserable and upset (still am) because I emailed one of the professors regarding PhD opportunities and just got a few links to check. Don't get me wrong, it's quite hard to get a reply at all so I do am extremely grateful. It's just that I had already checked the links and unfortunately opportunities for a studenship are quite low. Plus studentships offerend would hardly cover the college fees.
Upsetting.

Any suggestion at all? Please drop me a line if you have any help, I am not ready to give it all up, not yet.
It does feel as if only a small number of people were entitled to dream and it hurts. A few years ago I didn't know what I wanted to do in life, I was just positive about life in general whereas now it does feel like something got broken although I have found out what job I'd like to be in and what person I'd like to be...it's just that nowadays it's extremely hard to find a job and one cannot survive 3 years as a PhD student unless he or she is given money to pay off the bills.Someone suggested I should ask my parents which I'd love to do if only I could but they got divorced ages ago and I haven't seen my dad ever since (well, have seen his face but haven't spoke to him) and my mum struggles herself.

The feeling of not being entitled to dream made me think of a story I once wrote and was reading just a few days ago. It's a first person narrator which I hardly use because it makes me feel unconfortable altough I never tell my own story. It's the story of a girl who feels there are no hopes left for her and she begins to think nothing good will ever happen to her until something (which, by the way, has nothing to do with her dreams) happens.

Anyway...have you read Doris Lessing's lecture for the Nobel Prize?

It is a very interesting read but, I must admit, quite different from what I expected. Having said that, it gave me a lot to think of especially when she says:

In order to write, in order to make literature, there must be a close connection with libraries, books, the Tradition.

Tradition, libraries, books.

Guess these are all elements we, people who live in developed countries, give for granted...
I can't remember a time in my life when I was not reading nor holding nor carrying a book. Books make me feel safe, and happy. Books give me knowledge and life and I am sorry for those who do not know the joy of reading.
Therefore, my hope for us all is that there will never come a day in our lives without books.

Last time...

2007-11-24T09:45:00.000Z

When was the last time I updated the blog?
Seems like ages, feels like that at least!

I have spent the past week working on something I have never dealt with. Funny thing is my superior/supervisor/guide (am using different words because...) doesn't have a clue on what has been done until now (she was on maternity leave for one year and came back just a few months ago. However, the big project has started 3 years ago) and guidelines used so instead of explaining them to me -so that I can then do the job- she puts me in the position of doing her job because she doesn't know much more than I do and this is the best way to get additional things done.
Does this sound confusing? Well, come and join me one day, you'll see what real confusion is like!

It's Saturday (Alas!!) and I have billion of things to do but don't seem quite able to because I am too tired and my headache is too strong.
During the past few days I came home after work and was supposed to do more work (different from that one) but I
just can't so am going to spend the whole weekend trying (read struggling) to catch up with work "other".

However, three weeks to go...I am quite curious whether there is any light at the end of the tunnel and that "she"
person is going to learn and explain...

What have you been doing on my absence? Any interesting book you would like to suggest me? (please, I need to relax and books are always the best of friends to relax with!)

A book I think you should all read is Joyce Carol Oates, the Faith of a Writer. The book is quite intense, ranges
from personal experiences to suggestions on the craft to books she found inspiring.

I have also (re) read Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson which I think might be useful for my research...

How come some people has such an easy life and some others are struggling at all times? Well, it does feel like that at least and this is so hard to accept, especially when it is so hard to reach your goals or dreams.

Have an amazing weekend!

Grey's Anatomy blog

2007-11-16T16:49:00.000Z

I have been reading quite a lot during the past few months, more than I could ever expected and that feels great.

However, I am still trying to figure out how the whole PhD thing will work out for me. That does not feel great. It just feels like having a box full of keys and being forced to find one, the only one that will open the door to my dreams. Does this make any sense at all? I am not sure it does but I do know I want to find that key and get into a PhD program.

So...I am probably going to spend the weekend trying to relax and sort out a few things which are going to be useful next week. I will also clean my small garden. Did I ever tell you I have a lemon tree? It is a small one but there are 8 greeny lemons on it and I am very proud of that.
I also have a lot to catch up with Grey's Anatomy 's blog from its writers. Don't get me wrong, I am not that much obsessed with TV series (TV in general. I'd rather sit on the couch and read a book) but there are a few series I enjoy watching and, also, it is great to read comments and views from the writers because it does help to understand the story and the writing better.

www.greyswriters.com

Plus, I think every writer should learn from others and other disciplines. Writing for TV means focusing on what the viewer sees and I, being a "visual" writer and having a "visual" memory, have learnt a lot on that, on how to stay focused and how to distinguish between what's really important to show and what's not.

Therefore, if you have any spare time and are a visual writer, have a look at the blog;-)

Writing fiction

2007-11-02T14:04:00.000Z

Quite a few things are about to happen next week, including the end of a course I am taking. In a way, I feel relieved because the course was not what I expected. It is a literary translation course but all of us had not only to translate but also to fill a questionnaire which was way too time consuming. I know, translating a book doesn't mean finding fancy words only. It also means have a true feel and understanding for a different culture. However, some of these questions have nothing to do with that. They are more sort of "can you link movie A and book B without having read the book nor seen the movie" and problem is in real life no-one will ask you to find these links unless they are relevant therefore part of it.

I am not sure I am making myself clear but I am so tired of endless hours online searching for answers.

Anyway, how are you doing? Still writing? Still enjoying your NaNoWriMo experience?

I am still trying to stick to my “10 minutes a day” routine and it feels good expecially because I am trying not to worry about language and grammar but I do am feeling at ease with plot and each character’s story. I also found out that one of my characters is far away more important that I thought she would be and another character (not very positive one) can get himself into trouble and into situations which make him look like an absolute idiot therefore it is funny. Would not have expected this to happen but I like it.

I have just finished reading a book I wanted to talk about. It is British Women writing fiction, (ed by) Abby H. P. Welock. Inside, you can find plenty of interesting comments on P.D. James, Jeanette Winterson, Anita Brookner. A.S. Byatt, Doris Lessing (have just named a few). I know this is not the kind of book one would want to read before bed-time, but I think it is important to see things, anything, from a perspective which is not your own. Therefore, I enjoy literary critics.

"Write your heart out"

2007-10-24T17:02:00.000+01:00

I confess I have a non-existant writing routine. I sit down and write only when I feel inspired and have time, which does not (necessarily) mean 'hardly ever' but which has (very often indeed) something to do with the night.

Wake up in the middle of the night and write a sentence, the very sentence that keeps running through your head. Catch it before it is too late.

Every heard of that? Ever felt that? That's me!

Somehow, I think this is the reason why I am so strict with myself, a perfectionist (I like the word although I am not sure I can get anywhere close to perfection). Therefore, I have now decided it's time for me to change: for the next month or so I will force myself in front of the computer for at least ten minutes a day. I don't know how that is going to work, but I do feel I need to try.

Have done that for three days now and I must say it's not that bad. I do have a story in my head, have even written a 'plan'(names of a few characters, what's happening and the likes), and I am sure this makes it all easier. Still, feels funny, feels like I am not in control of my writing, grammar, sentence structure...

I know some of you are part of the Nanowrimo community and will have to write 50k words by the end of november: would love to know what's your experience like but until then...Good luck and, as Joyce Carol Oates says, don't forget to "write your heart out".

Doris Lessing: Nobel Prize in Literature 2007

2007-10-12T16:51:00.000+01:00

I had already planned to update the blog by the end of the week when the news of Doris Lessing winning this year's Nobel Prize came out. As you can imagine, it completely changed the topic...

In fact, I was about to tell you about my experience with (bad) librarians and booksellers (unfortunately, quite a good number in Italy, which is where I am at the moment) but I don't think this matters at all now.

I think Doris Lessing is an extremely versatile writer, a powerful example of good writing - women's writing - and even though I am not fond on Prizes because a part of me strongly feels one does not need a piece of paper or the likes to be good at something, I confess I am so very please about the news.

First of all, it's exciting to think a woman won the competition. In fact, the number of women winning a Nobel for Literature is quite small compared to that of men.

Secondly, I think she does deserve it because she has passionately re-invented herself, ranging from SF to autobiography which is quite hard to find nowadays -writers, and publishers, usually stick to what sells, don't they? -

I confess, I am looking forward to reading her speech, because what writers usually do is they tell their experience and opinion about literature in general and I think it is very useful and inspiring. In particular, I suggest you to read that of Hemingway (Nobel prize in 1954; Toni Morrison, Nobel Prize in 1993 and Wislawa Szymborska, Nobel prize in 1996)

Congratulations Doris...and Thanks!!!

It's all about RED

2007-10-04T15:11:00.000+01:00

It's all red.

It's all about red.

I hope it's going to be red.

I am not very fond on politics, any politics. For me, it's not about being careless but rather being free from headache because no matter who one votes for, politicians are always fighting against each other and against the very same people who voted for them. They hardly work for us, to improve our lives. But they are always talking.

I am pointing this out because I am about to ask you a favour which, from my point of view, has nothing to do with who you or I vote for. It's all about supporting each other. Being loving and caring towards one another. Please wear red, offer red, buy red. Support buddhist monks. They are peaceful people who are suffering. They are running away from their own land because of some politician.
They may have done something wrong: fine. But killing them it's not the solution, don't you think?
They have not killed nor raped, they have simply tried to express their opinions.

Thank you!

***

Grandad had a car accident a few weeks ago. I meant to do so many things since I last updated the blog but, since the accident, everything stopped. I was in and out of the hospital for a week and am now taking care of him. He has nothing serious, just a dislocation of his collarbone (nothing considering what might have happened and the damage to his car) but cannot do things on his own.
He's upset, so used to be independent and so unable to see himself sick, but he's okay. And alive.

Me...well I have a confession. One of the things I meant to do was research: I'd love to get back to University and be a PhD in English Literature although I am not quite clear on how that works. Exams? Thesis? Money (unfortunately, that's a big part of the problem!)? I only know I'd love to try although I am probably too old for that now but I'd love to.
However, one of the problems is also that in order to get all the paperwork done I should write a thesis proposal, sort of...which needs examples and clarity.
Does any of you know how to find info on novels?
I've asked in my local library and was only told that the International cataloguing system does not consider novels at all. It only gives information about what's inside non-novels.
What can I do then?
Any suggestion would be much appreciated!

Unfortunately, I do have the idea but need examples otherwise it will never be taken seriously...

A 'Proper' job...

2007-09-19T15:24:00.000+01:00

I hope there’s still someone out there wanting to read my blog. It’s not that I think there is something interesing about who I am or what I do but I just love the idea of someone reading these pages and, ideally, feeling something. Makes me feel protected, in a way.

I haven’t been updating the blog in a while because I simply didn’t have time: am trying to do a big clean up in the house, which is said to be of great help to clean your karma and sort out things in your life (doesn’t feel relaxing though, especially after lifting up boxes or running up and down the stairs...); am taking a course, which will hopefully help my career and...am looking for a job, a ‘proper’ one. In fact, I recently discovered that translating and writing articles is not a proper job considering the silly amount of money you get - which won’t make a difference when you have to pay your bills.

How does some people get to the stage where translating or writing becomes a job, is taken seriously and decently paid?
If you know the answer please feel free to share!

Since I last wrote I am still trying to structure the novel (it’s not a decision, rather a necessity I should think) I am writing (the one page thing, remember?) but I have managed to write a short story which is still a work in progress but makes me happy anyway.

Writing makes me happy.
Books make me happy.

I could never imagine a life, my life without books and I guess this is the main reason why I sometimes find it hard to explain this. Those who do not feel books as part of their lives won’t be easily convinced that a book can make a difference. Yet, it’s important to try.

I just finished reading a book by Terry Brooks about writing and I advise you to do the same. Someone emailed asking why I am so much into ‘writers about writing’ and the answer is ...they help me to feel human. Writers’ block? Rejection? Fear? It’s good to know someone else, someone famous and talented, had the same problem at least once in their life/career and got over it.

Have a lovely ‘un-proper’ week;-)

Ps: if you come across novels where astrology/tarots are mentioned could you please let me know? Calvino and Jeanette Winterson mention the theme and I would love to read more about this. THX!

Moonlight dancer dance with me

2007-09-05T08:58:00.000+01:00

I’ve spent the last ten days in a vineyard picking grapes and I must confess it feels funny to have a day off. But it rained last night so it was still too wet for us to go back to work. Hopefully, we will finish by the end of the week – please read get back to our lives.

Have you ever worked in a farm or picked up grapes, apples (anything you can think of, really)? If you haven’t, please know that time is spent on hard (physical) work and gossip. Some of the people I work with seem to know everything about everyone. So, from 8am until 6pm, they keep talking about people they know, people they don’t know, people who know people...

Truth is...it makes me sick. Don’t get me wrong, when I catch up with my friends we talk about ‘news’, which also includes what’s going on in other people’s lives, but doing so for 10 hours a day, say 15 days in a row, sounds way too much.

Luckily, I am terrible with people’s names. I just can’t remember them (unless I see them in writing) so I already forgot what I’ve heard but, still, it feels funny to be there.

As I said, today was the first day off in 10 days and although I was/am very tired, I had so many things to do, most of which were done in a rush. Emailing was/is one of them so if you haven’t heard from me in ages, please forgive me!

I begin to see the light about the novel I’m writing and have written down a few notes, which will hopefully guide me along the way. But my one page story is, still, on its own. No new pages addedd, which is okay considering the fact that when I come home after ‘graping’ I am so tired I just eat and throw myself into bed. I usually read for about one hour or so and then fall in sleep, my head on the book.

(so please forgive me if I won’t be able to update the blog tonight: my back is killing me)

However, poetry keeps flowing and my mobile is now filled with saved messages/poems which I will sort out as soon as I can, hopefully. And, talking about poems, there’s a line I wish I had written, the one used as title to this post:

Moonlight dancer dance with me

You may think it was written from the great poet...but it wasn’t. The very author of this line is Mr James Blunt, singer (well, one day, maybe), songwriter.

I must confess, I am not a fan of James. His first single, You’re beautiful, was just boring. Plus, my ‘chosen one’ is Robbie Williams (love his music, think he’s an amazing songwriter etc) but I happened to hear the B side of James’ latest single, 1973, and I just love the lyrics.

If you’re wondering, the title of the song is So Happy and I have the impression it is an hymn to life. I don’t know much of James, apparently he was in the army and spent a few years in Kosovo. I may be wrong –if so please correct me- but the song seems to talk about him being there and fighting, him being happy the day has gone and he’s still alive. It’s sad. But positive.

Can moonlight dancer dance? It may not. Still, it sounds amazing, and inspiring. So –never thought I would ever say that in my life...-thank you James;-)

That one page

2007-08-30T08:52:00.000+01:00

I haven’t been updating the blog for the past week or so. Been so busy! And the next couple of weeks are going to be even worst than this!
Never mind, at least I have things to do which, to me, sounds far away much better than ‘nothing’. To wait: that was never a verb for me.

Have just finished reading a book, a very good one, written by Jostein Gaarder. It’s about a man with ideas, lots of ideas, for books. He doesn’t have (or, rather, think he does) the ability to write them down so he starts to sell his ideas to other people assuming that one can learn grammar, style and the likes but will have nothing without ideas. It’s a weird story, still, very effective. And although I have never sold any of my ideas (and would never do so), I often felt unable to tell the story, any of the ones flowing through my mind...and it’s hard.

Guess wanting to write means being in need to tell a story, any story. So when, for any given reason, one cannot do that (writer’s block as they call it. I would rather say ‘silence of the heart’) it is just horrible. When the page stays blank everything looks darker, scarier.

Have been writing a lot of poetry lately and, although I am still trying to figure out what I am doing, I think poetry helps. It gives you (well, that’s the way I see it) the joy and ability to play with words. I like the sound of two words together so write them down. As simple as that. I wish I could get some feedback, wish I could understand, but that’s not the point. The only thing that matters is the pleasure. And I do feel that.

Having said that, I don’t think of myself as a poet whereas I’ve always thought I was a novelist. Well...novelist is a big word for an unpublished writer. But I like to think I am one. I like to think that one day people will be able to read and enjoy my stories. And I do am enjoying a story at present. The one that I’ve just started to write. I’ve only managed to write one page until now, but it is something. The rest of the story is somewhere, lost in my mind and in my dreams. And although it’s hard to collect all the pieces of the puzzle and put them together, I am very excited. And proud. Proud of myself because I love the first sentence am not going to reveal that just yet-, it makes me feel like this is going to be good. And I need to feel positive. We all do, don’t you think?

Wedding report

2007-08-22T20:00:00.000+01:00

I haven’t been blogging for the past few days, so many things to do and sort out before K and G wedding which, for all of you to know, has been amazing. She looked amazing, breathtaking (well, she always does. She’s one of the best looking girls I know). G looked amazing too and the look of love in his eyes when K started walking towards him… well the only comment I have on that is that I hope to find someone looking at me the same way;-)

The ceremony was great, typical British and a real fun, especially when one of the guys started collecting a fiver bet to guess how long all speeches would last. Twenty nine minutes (and a good number of healthy laughs) later…four winners came along;-)

The only prolem we had was...the weather...way too cold...but that was easily forgot as the bride arrived.

Am about half way through Pirates and I know, Celia Rees writes teenage fiction (well, that’s a complaint I found on my email this morning…pretty much sounded like ‘how can you read or suggest stuff like that considering you are no longer a teenager?’) but in all honesty, I am an avid reader. There are authors I keep myself away from (such as horror because that’s just not my thing) but I like to try and Celia Rees is a good writer, regardless of how the publisher, reviewers etc catalogue her. She’s not only talented but has also a very bright imagination therefore…I like her.

Plus, I also love Harry Potter (who doesn't?) so...

I’d love to know what you think of this or any other of her books – I love discussing books!-, I think this would be a great opportunity to see things from someone else’s eyes;-)

Last but not least: I am doing a research on English words used by British novelists in the 18th/19th centuries (Jane Austen, Daniel Defoe and the like) so please if you know of a website where I could find a full list let me know.

2 things I love

2007-08-18T14:47:00.000+01:00

I want to share with you an article I have read today in The Guardian (UK newspaper) supplement on books. It has been written by one of my favourite male writers (althogh I think his wife, Nicole Krauss, is even more talented than he does which is hard to believe all considered!), Jonathan Safran Foer. Jonathan tells us his feelings and experience in a library, NY Public Library where he used to work.

If you want to read his views click here

Pirates

2007-08-17T16:53:00.000+01:00

I am writing again on the blog. It’s just hard these days: I have got so many ideas which come to me like rain to Britain…but every single time I try to write them down words don’t come along…I begin to think they have gone on holidays;-)

So the best way for me to get words is…reading. It’s not like I read and will start to write as I turn the pages but the best inspiration comes from those who have already been inspired – I think- so have gone out, had a look through and finally got my hands on Pirates, a book about two female pirates written by Celia Rees. This is not the latest book published by the author but just one I wanted to read.

I have started my Rees experience with the Witch Child, moved to The Wish House and am now on Pirates. I like novels written by/for women, it’s just something I connect with.

Talking about connections: does any of you has pictures taken from an airplane of the sky? You know the sky which is always blue where clouds look like cotton? I was just thinking of that last night but don’t know where my pictures are…
(am a funny character, I know…)

However…am trying to write poetry these days…very hard work and not many results but a few words come out…who knows…

Will meet a friend soon so need to get ready. Take Care and keep writing – at least those of you who can!!

Eager to know...willing to share

2007-08-10T08:49:00.000+01:00

I haven't written anything for the past week or so. It's not what I want it's just what I have to...too many things to do and sort out before next week - I'll be joining K&G for their wedding. Am so excited but so tired too.

Lots of news are coming up these days, unexpected news and although a part of me is very happy...the other is sad. It is always so especially when you know you are going to upset your family - my mum is so very happy to have me at home...
It's hard.

Also, my head has been quite busy for a problem -sort of- with a translation agency (if you have experience with them please let me know!) and it all came out as a funny joke when, yesterday, I read that a 16 years old guy from France has translated the 7th book of the Harry Potter saga. I confess I felt so 'useless': a 16 years old has done the whole job in just a few days whereas professionals take months. I know what you're about to say 'hang on, a professional will do a much better job than a school boy!' and I agree with that. But I sort of saw the whole story in a different light. I just saw a person eager to know and willing to share his knowledge. In the real world, Harry Potter is just a character in a book. But in the kids' world he's a friend, an hero, someone special you have shared years of your life with.
That makes a huge difference, don't you think?

However, if you want to read more about it please click here.

That's all for now. Will hopefully write more next;-)

Clocks

2007-08-01T09:00:00.000+01:00

I have been trying to write for the past week or so. I feel inspired these days, lots of ideas on my mind...but every single time I sit in front of the computer and think it's time for me to develop one of these ideas nothing happens.

I occasionally write a few words, lines when I 'get lucky'. But no full sentences. This is frustrating.

Unfortunately, the very same thing happens about writing a new post but today I have just decided that I wanted to get a new entry in the blog. Am forcing myself, but I have to.

Am I moody? Austere seems to think so and she may be totally right. But I guess there are times in our lives when we cannot be just one thing. I cannot be happy about the promise but I have to for the lucky charm. I think the 'problem' is trying to balance all these emotions and maybe I am not good at that, not at the moment. As always, when I am not capable of doing so I close my eyes and put Clocks (Coldplay) on. It helps. It does help me a lot. So if I was a song now I would be that one;-)

'I write because I need to...'

2007-07-26T15:54:00.000+01:00

How do you feel when a friend does not keep his promises?

A good six months ago I asked a writer friend to read something I had written. He was very busy at the time so asked me to hold a few months before sending the piece to him.
I waited. And waited and waited more. Nothing happened and he didn't get in touch for ages so yesterday I decided to get in charge of the situation and emailed him. He's busy, again, but this time he simply said he's not gonna read it because he doesn't have time.

I know, when you write something others are not, nor should be, forced to read it but when this means a lot to you and the person has made a promise then you sort of rely on it, don't you?

The piece I am referring to is something I really care for and I wanted him to read it not because there is any 'special' relationship between us but because I needed his opinion. He is so very different from me and I 'chose' him as my 'ideal reader' if you know what I mean...

Whatever, I'll get over it. It's just upsetting and hurts me as a writer but also as a friend.

By the way...quite a few things happened and I want to share a few with you. A guy, a complete stranger, gave me a lucky charm. He was celebrating the end of his life at university and the degree in Economics he now holds. I was walking on the same side of the street. He saw me, came over and simply said "Hi, you are the first person I meet after I got my papers so I want you to have this." And that's when the lucky charm appeared in my hand. I couldn't even ask his name but whoever you are, thank you;-)

My friend K is getting married in just a few weeks time -and I can't wait to join her for the celebrations!-...and I was just told a former colleague of mine will get married too, next week. This leaves me a little speachless: I am so so happy for her but in a way I feel everyone is growing up but me. Me, I keep holding on to my dreams...

I was just deleting files from my memory stick and found an interview with Nicole Krauss (I love her, she's so talented!) which I downloaded from the website of french paper Liberation in 2006 and I'll paste just a little passage:

D'où vient cette histoire ? Je venais de publier mon premier roman, j'étais devenue un écrivain professionnel, et j'étais très mal à l'aise. Je me demandais ce qu'allait devenir mon travail d'écriture, maintenant que je n'écrivais plus «dans l'idéal», mais pour un public. Je pensais que mon écriture allait être contaminée par ça, je me demandais : mais pourquoi est-ce que tu veux écrire, puisque toute joie a disparu ?
Et puis j'ai trouvé la voix de Leo Gursky, cet homme qui avait tout perdu, qui avait toujours voulu être écrivain et qui n'avait pu réaliser cette aspiration. Faire parler cet homme qui était devenu un écrivain sans lecteurs mais qui continuait à écrire parce que ça lui était nécessaire était une manière d'explorer ce que je ressentais.

For those who do not speak French...Nicole was asked how she got the idea for 'The History of Love' and she says that after publishing her first novel (Man walks in to a room) she had lost the happiness of writing. Then, she finds Leo (the main male character) who has lost everything of importance in his life and always wanted to become a writer. He did write a book when he was very young but never knew it had been published and therefore read.

The words in bold are quite important for me: writing is as a necessity. That's exactly what I feel, I write because I need to.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

2007-07-24T09:17:00.000+01:00

It's hot and I'm tired. My head is gone somewhere far, maybe on a desert beach facing the Ocean. I feel like I can smell the salted water.

I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows but had to struggle before sitting here and writing about it. That's frustrating. Frustrating because when there is something good in your life you want to talk about it, don't you? Guess male readers might think this is a female attitude and it may well be so but what's wrong with that? What's wrong with wanting other people to feel a little of your happiness?

My words sounds so very positive but in all honesty they should not be so because I loved the book, the way Jo (JK Rowling, the writer but I am sort of getting used to relate to her as if she was a friend) created twists and turns but it's sad to think there's not going to be any more Potter!

It always happens to me. I get to read a book and feel excited and joyful but when it's all over...well that's when the sadness comes in and I wish I could turn back the clock because the characters were now my other self and my best friend.

I don't like this. And this is one of the reasons why you will often find me re-reading the same books over and over again.

My favourite character was Hermione, such a bookish little muggleblood;-) And I very much hope that many youngsters out there will want to imitate Hermione and will see how important books are in our lives. I think Hermione represents this.

I love shy guys so won't get to talk about Ron;-)

Harry...Harry. He was a bless. He is not portrayed as a good looking kid or adolescent but he shows us where real beauty comes from.

In a way, every line has something to teach readers, regardless of their age and I believe the best piece of advice is to be positive about others. If we think everyone around us is our enemy then they will be.

Any comment on the writing? I think Jo improved tremendously over the years, so much so that I started reading the last book and couldn't stop -although was forced to every now and then!- reading it!That's a great achievement!Also, I think Jo got some inspiration by S. King. For example, in the way she unfolds the story, piece by piece. Amazing! Well done Jo!!!
I won't add anything else to the post just in case any of you have not finished reading the book yet. However, as I am learning to drive, I'd love to know exactly what Ron did to get his driving licence!;-)

Newspapers and readers

2007-07-23T16:39:00.000+01:00

Hi all,

It's a very hot day over here and I just feel like doing nothing at all. Unfortunately, have quite a lot on my plate at the moment but I cannot complain. There are so many amazing things in life.

I was thinking of ways to get inspired today for my writing. Did nothing special to get there though...it was more a question in my mind. And then, without me realizing that at first, I discovered there are so many people and places to get inspiration from!
For the first time in ages I walked around and saw people. That was amazing! And I have to thank Jo (Mrs J.K. Rowling hereself - No, I unfortunately do not know her!) for this. Reading Harry Potter was such a blessing and I am quite sad that was the last book. But I have learnt so much from that and am extremely grateful.

Will be posting a review of the book tomorrow.

However, just a curious detail a friend mentioned in an email -I think she read it in The Sun, UK newspaper, but am not sure so may amend this post later -: a woman read the whole book in just 47 minutes! She can read something like 4244 words per minute. Impressive eh?

I think she's amazing but having said that I wouldn't want to be like her because if it takes you just 47 minutes to read the whole book, 606 pages then what's the fun in 'waiting' and guessing?

If any of you know how to search worldwide newspapers please give me a shout.

BookClover me;-)

2007-07-18T15:18:00.000+01:00

Writing a blog was never a priority nor a challenging experience until I started this blog. I like getting online and think that someone out there, regardless of their colour, age, location and whatever else you feel like adding to this list, will read me. However, to tell you the truth, blogging is not as easy as I thought it would be and I am still trying to figure out how to do the very basic things and am desperate to get some help...

The last thing I did last night was reading pages from The Shadows of the Wind which I find beautifully written and so inspiring that I think it will take me ages to finish because I don’t want the happiness and joy to end, not so quickly at least –doesn’t happen with all books and most probably won’t on...Saturday!-

If the last thing on my mind last night was a very positive one, the first this morning was extremely funny. I woke up, went to the kitchen to get some tea and had these words or sentence running through my mind: ‘BookClover me’. Does this make any sense, at all? I don’t think it does but I feel it has to – at least, this may set my mind free - so I have decided it will, although I am not sure whether it should mean ‘email me’ or ‘link me’. What do you think? They both sound good to me anyway.

However, that was not the only weird thought on my mind today. In fact, I am still convinced that today is one of my friend’s birthday and was even about to send her a message. Luckily, the calendar in my mobile reminded me that it’s still 12 days to go! – can you imagine what would have happened if I had sent the message? She would have killed me! –

Having said all the above, when I logged in few minutes ago I just wanted to share something amazing with you: I went to the local library today, which I visit every now and then just to get a sense of what’s going on and fill my soul with the joy of people reading [because I, like Jorge Luis Borges, “have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.”] and there was a book abandoned on one of the tables. Its author is Gabriel Garcia Marquez and the original title –Am not reading it in Spanish: I am learning the language but am not that good, not yet – is Como se cuenta un cuento. The book is about how to write short stories. Needless to say, I brought it home;-)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

2007-07-16T15:54:00.000+01:00

Grandad’s party was very good. The whole family got together in a very nice place in the mountains and we spent hours chatting and...eating. The food was nice but, as always, way too much therefore when we got back last night none of us could even think of having dinner with much amazement of my mum who doesn’t like using the dish washer nor washing the dishes herself!

The funny thing about family reunions is that food is always involved, together with endless talks about the weirdest topics. Yesterday’s was ‘how to buy a cheap holiday home to refurbish’. To tell you the truth, none but two of my aunties were much interested but, as always, we were all putting on our bravest smiles, sort of a mask to wear with some people and in some situations.

Luckily, things changed when my cousin, who is now 14 years old, began to talk about the latest Harry Potter’s movie which made me think of how important books are in a person’s life and how sad I am going to be in just a week time, when secrets will be unveiled forever.

To tell you the truth, I don’t like to use the word forever, not in this case, not about books because it gives me the impression that after you’ve read the book, everything that you’ve learnt, felt, saw, the whole journey will be over and no longer part of who you are. Does it make sense? Well, it doesn’t, not to me at least. I am one of these people who like the idea of books as friends, of characters as people who share a part of your life and who will always be there for you.

I will miss Harry’s courage, Ron’s friendship and Hermione’s strength. However, I hope this is not going to happen in the most horrible way, namely, with one of them dying. In fact, I’ve read quite a few comments and so-called spoilers about good characters dying and I got to a stage where I just couldn’t read that rubbish any longer. Is it true? Is it really happening? I don’t know that but I don’t like to think so. I like happy endings and I like to think that the world is not as bed as it looks on TV.

Five days to go so...happy waiting!;-)

The road to knowledge

2007-07-13T15:33:00.000+01:00

My grandad is turning 88 in just a few days time (on Monday to be precise) and this has given me a strong sense of belonging. It is something deep that also touches and links many of my greatest fears. So, I have decided to start a blog.

"The road to knowledge begins with the turn of the page." Anonymous

I don’t know where this is going to lead me but I hope it will give me the opportunity to speak my heart out and meet new and interesting people.

However, before meeting and greeting new people, I want to thank the ‘old’ ones, friends that I have met through the years and have changed my life completely. I cannot list you one by one, but please know that if you have received an email about this blog it is because you are one of them.

Guess you’re wondering what this blog is going to be about and reasons for me to choose that strange name, BookClover.

Well...the name has a funny story on it. A few years ago, I wanted to create an email account that had nothing to do with me but my passion for books. So I came out with the idea of booklover, which, as you might guess, had already been chosen by someone else. A few days went by and all I could think of were names which pretty much sounded like ‘Warning, this email contains Spam!’ I loved the word, booklover, so I got into a different email platform and by accident –or whatever it was- my finger added a C to the word. Funnily enough, the new word makes sense: it stresses on the KC sound (try to pronounce them separatedly: don’t you have this feeling of ‘opposites attract’?) and has two very strong images on it: a book and a clover. It’s like a charm and that’s what books are in my life: lucky charms.

However, the blog is not going to be about books – not only at least -. Reason being... there are so many people who read far away more books than I do and I know I cannot compete. I guess this blog is going to be about all that I love, whether it is a book, my passion for writing, friends, places...and, just as if it was a novel or short-story I am about to write, I know the very beginning, have a character (well, myself) in my head, but don’t quite know what’s going to happen. I hope you will travel with me on this very important journey of mine.

I will try to update the blog at least once a month (hopefully more!) and I would love to have a ‘get updates by email’ thing...if only I knew how to do that – Please help if you do!!- so forgive me if, at the beginning, things won’t work the way you would expect them to. Anything you want to teach me (about blogging, any good sentence you read in a book, especially writers about writing, a personal obsession of mine, etc) please jot me an email at bookclover AT gmail DOT com.